User talk:009o9/Michigan Film Incentive Rewrite

Michigan Film
Hi 009o0. Some feedback:
 * It needs a close look to remove editorializing (both positive and negative) like "finally" and "poor participation" with a trim back to just-the-facts.
 * Along similar lines, a lot of the blockquotes we could do without.
 * A lot of this could be consolidated into a single "History" section.
 * The last section should not include the word "Controversy" - we feel this imparts negative connotations and is another general editorializing issue.

In general, what sticks out the most is both positive and negative editorializing and a need for a better structure.

I wouldn't want be seen as sharing back-scratches, so I just thought I'd provide feedback, but won't fulfill a request edit or anything like that. CorporateM (Talk) 20:50, 23 March 2013 (UTC)


 * I see what you mean, needs to be a bit more neutral even though there is still a pretty big debate/controversy over the "Michigan Film Incentive". I'm cutting out some of the block quotes, I think the controversy section needs to stay in because there is a controversy over the incentives.  Yes, most of the article will be a subsection  == Michigan film office == / === Michigan Film Incentives === under the existing article Film industry in Michigan. Thanks for the feedback CorporateM 02:08, 24 March 2013 (UTC)