User talk:124 srgarciaa/sandbox

Hi! It was great to meet you on Wednesday and I enjoyed reading the work that you have done so far. Side note... the Vasos de Leche program sounds really cool and I'm excited about your PE experience.

There were some slight grammatical errors (attitudinal, which is a great word by the way) but overall the writing is excellent. We spoke about this in class, but I think your draft could benefit from some structural/organizational changes. The 'Recent Situation' section has some information that I think would fit really well into the lead section of the Huancayo article. An example would be the sentence about Huancayo being the capital city. Otherwise, I think the sentences could be reordered to give section's information more of a funnel shape. You can start big picture and work down to more specific examples of change. Additionally, it would be great to explore to see if there is a link between the changes that have been taking place and the malnutrition issues you bring up later. Does the influx of people spread recourses too thin? Have resources been shifted away from agriculture towards infrastructure, therefore leaving the residents of Huancayo with decreased access to nutrition?

The first two paragraphs in the Vasos de Leche article are fantastically written! I would even consider using the second paragraph as the lead in for the whole article. There were a couple of numbers (60%, second paragraph) that I would try to tie directly to a source. We spoke about this, but the easiest way would be to include the citation footnote ( number 7, I believe) after the whole paragraph so that it carries more authority. What is a market failure? That seems subjective since a market failure is an inefficiency in the market. (I had to look this up) The market could be working perfectly well from the perspective of the government or corporations, but not the people. Maybe a little more explanation about who is being disenfranchised would help ground that phrase.

The last section could easily fit in multiple articles, but I would consider looking at adding it to an article on breastfeeding. The Vasos de Leche seems like a novel program that has a lot of potential for good, and might be of interest to people who are rooting around Wikipedia for information on breastfeeding. Especially if they are worried about how their lack of access to dairy could affect their child's overall health.

Overall, amazing information! You have really done your research and this will make an excellent contribution to Wikipedia!

Hello! I'm sorry I'm replying so late I just saw your comment on my Talk page. I think the extra information you're going to add to the Vaso de Leche program is incredibly relevant and necessary. It helps to expand the article more on the modern programs instead of more of the historical context to many like I did. Thanks for looking over my contributions! Dguar97 (talk) 19:58, 15 April 2018 (UTC)