User talk:1527naturallog/sandbox

Hi 1527naturallog. I hope you're having a good spring break. Please remember to stay up to date on your Wikipedia training--you have two that need to be completed.Zipperbrown (talk) 17:59, 28 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review on Alison Saar page
Hi 1527naturallog, Helia_Max here. I will be peer reviewing your proposed edits and wanted to give you a heads up on when I plan to do that, so we can coordinate. I will not have time to read through your contributions until this Sunday at the earliest, could do it by Tuesday at the latest. I see you are working on improvements to the lead, Works and Exhibitions. Please let me know if you have a preference of day, and I will check back in. Keep going! You got this. [smiles] — Preceding unsigned comment added by Helia max (talk • contribs) 12:16, 20 April 2018 (UTC) Helia max (talk) 15:44, 23 April 2018 (UTC) Helia_max

Hi Helia_Max. I originally intended on improving the work and exhibitions sections, which I may add some edits, but upon further inspection think I am going to be combing through the sources already cited and adding, updating, and improving those when necessary. Also, I will be adding more content to the publications section.

Thanks! 1527naturallog (talk) 16:32, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

4/23 - Hi 1527naturallog, I see from our course page that you have added over 14,000 characters to improve Alison Saar's page. I am looking in your Sandbox and only see a little bit of text and many links to catalogs. Have you written any narrative or otherwise that I am missing? Where have you placed it? Thank you for helping me navigate. Looking forward to peer-reviewing tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Helia max (talk) 15:44, 23 April 2018 (UTC) Helia_max

Helia_Max -- I do not have a narrative written and am struggling since I am combing through sources and trying to improve those. Unfortunately, I do not have anything at the time except for the leader for you to peer review. 1527naturallog (talk) 00:21, 25 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi 1527naturallog - I was just now able to take a look at your edits to the lead (sorry for the delay) and have only a couple of suggestions to consider. You might want to make this first sentence two, since it is a bit long. It could read something like this: "Saar was born in Los Angeles, California, into a well-known family of African-American artists. Her mother, Betye Saar, was a sculptor and installation artist, who was involved in the 1970s Black Arts Movement, and her father, Richard Saar, was a former Coast Guard combat artist[5] and an art conservationist.[6] I understand the difficulty of improving an article that has already been developed and trying to find new sources. Helia max (talk) 22:59, 29 April 2018 (UTC)Helia_max

Article feedback
Hi 1527naturallog,

Nice work on crafting a leaner and meaner Alison Saar article. I did find a number of typos and minor edits in the entry so you might find it useful to actually print out your work and read it in hard copy to find errors (also try reading sentences aloud--this is tedious but works well for locating awkward sentences).

Your reflection post tipped me off to the amount of work you did on the article regarding references and citations; I'm glad you removed the artists.com and other such generic info sources. I did some checking on Saar references in the UW Catalog and it looks like most of her work is covered. I was unsure why you wanted to "use the sources listed in the Publication and then get rid of that section." To visually clean up the entry? Avoid redundancies? In the end you left it, which was fine. This seems to be a standard approach for many entries.

I checked her solo exhibition list in Benezit and it only goes up to 2000! That makes your Wikipedia article much more relevant.

It sounds like you were unsure about how to improve the content to a certain degree. Future ideas could be critical reception, important works, later life, and later works. I'm basing these categories on other entries I've seen. Of course, it helps to have a solid article on which to add more content, and I think that's where you choose to focus your energies.

Thanks for working on this project and becoming a Wikipedian! Zipperbrown (talk) 21:31, 15 May 2018 (UTC)