User talk:2ethiopie

Your submission at Articles for creation
 Thank you for your recent submission to Articles for Creation. Your article submission has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. Please view your submission to see the comments left by the reviewer. You are welcome to edit the submission to address the issues raised, and resubmit if you feel they have been resolved.
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 * Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia! RadioFan (talk) 13:28, 28 July 2013 (UTC)

further advice
As an experienced editor and administrator, I re-reviewed the submission. The actual problem is not the way things were cited; the previous reviewer apparently did not understand pour guideline at WP:Citing sources.The real problem is that the article is not adequately clear for the general reader here. The sequence of kings and events is simply not clear, and we do not have adequate coverage of this in a general article to put it in context. You seem to have used each source in turn, without integrating them. I urge you very strongly to work further on this. first, you need to put it in context. Then, you need to describe the actual sequence of kings. After that, describe his account of himself and the reception it had, followed by the modern comments on it. Judgments have to be exactly cited, at the sentence level, so we know whose judgment it is--we cannot rely on your own judgment of the primary sources. The article seems to be based on the work of Serge Aroles, but I do not see it cited as a reference, and it has to be.

If you need any assistance, please ask me directly on  ''' my user talk page.  DGG''' ( talk ) 06:32, 29 July 2013 (UTC)