User talk:570mna/sandbox

I think you're off to a good start, I too, just have a few grammatical suggestions. 1) As the previous commenter noted, perhaps using "placental barrier" instead of what you have written. 2)"Foods known to be at risk for L. monocytogenes are frequently advised against consuming during pregnancy unless properly heated to kill potential L. monocytogenes", maybe change the order to, "Avoiding consumption of foods known to be at risk for L. monocytogenes during pregnancy". 3) should "ready to eat" be "ready-to-eat"? I am not sure. 4)"Pregnant women are considered immune-compromised during pregnancy making them an at-risk population for Listeriosis [2]". Maybe "Women are considered immune-compromised while pregnant, designating them as an at-risk population for Listeriosis". 5) "While the pregnant women may not show any symptoms or only shows minor symptoms of L. monocytogenes the unborn baby may be severely impacted", perhaps "While pregnant women may be asymptomatic, or show minor symptoms of L. monocytogenes infection, the unborn baby may be severely impacted". Again, these are all just suggestions that I think would improve clarity for the reader, but everyone has a different style!  Good choice of topic!  570hjm (talk) 17:23, 11 November 2017 (UTC)570hjm

Hi- this is a great start! Just a couple grammarical edits offhand under the Listeria impact to the fetus heading -woman instead of women -placental barrier instead of placenta -Listeria instead of listeriosis to the fetus being exposed in utero and born, I think makes more sense. I could go either way I guess.

Also, just a general thought- but what about environmental exposures of listeria? improperly ensiled sileage- inhalation; occupational exposure to blood, tissues (such as brain) if you work in slaughterhouses, agriculture or veterinary occupations; soils and dusts? I think it's fairly common to find listeria in the soil. Also, what is the duration of infectivity in an exposure source? Does it sporulate? Is it stable in sunlight, high moisture, etc? beyond just heat inactivation. What about canned foods?

570kkl (talk) 15:36, 6 November 2017 (UTC)570kkl

Greetings- this is a great start! This looks like a great area that can be filled in, especially under listeria and its relevance to pregnancy. Overall, grammar looks to be good and the points are well summarized. Absolutely off to a great start, I can't wait to see the finished product! Rebur (talk) 02:25, 14 November 2017 (UTC)

Your draft is quite informative and insightful especially on pointing the specific foods that pose the risk of Listeria monocytogenes during pregnancy. It is a condition that must be avoided because it causes death when it affects pregnant women. What are some of the recommendations for pregnant mothers who have craves for such foods mention in your draft? What is the reasonable solution to this risk among pregnant women? 570iya (talk) 02:42, 20 November 2017 (UTC)570iya

Additional content to add
Hi. I think that what you have written so far is well done and easy to read and understand. However, one question I had after reading your report, what happens if despite precautions, one gets exposed, what is to be done? Is treatment needed? Are there any treatments? If you were not already going to add a section on this, I think I would consider it. 570rlg (talk) 19:30, 14 November 2017 (UTC)

Your page looks great so far! The layout looks very clean on my laptop, but when I view this page on my desktop the italicised "Listeria monocytogenesis" is tough to look at; I get that you want to differentiate between the subject and the rest of the heading and I was thinking maybe capitolizing the L and the M will keep the same effect but allow you to italicize both words. Another idea could be exposing the topic word at the top of the page, and then rewording headings without the the subject in them to avoid being too repetitve; just thoughts, I still think the way it is now is effective even if you don't change it. One other thought I had while reviewing this page is that it might be helpful to some viewers if you added a short definition heading of what Listeria monocytogenesis is; I had to Google what it was and once I knew what it was everything else made much more sense. Overall, great job! 570cjd (talk) 21:22, 15 November 2017 (UTC)

Hello, with my food science background, I say wholeheartedly that you have done an excellent job communicating the risks that come from L. mono when pregnant. The information is presented clearly and looks like it will fit seamlessly into the wiki page. I like the use of percentages to give a number to the risk. Once again, great job! -570alp

This is an informative article on a topic that I was unfamiliar with. I have only to suggested edits. The first one would be in the last sentence of the Frequency paragraph to clarify the 2nd highest fatality rate corresponds to the whole of the population or to just pregnant women. The second would be in the impacts to fetus paragraph, consider reordering the sentences to have the fourth sentence lead into the rest of the potential effects. [(570smb)] — Preceding unsigned comment added by 2600:1014:B12D:49D5:C167:FDB1:DD49:7609 (talk) 22:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)

This is a great start to your article. I think you covered the topic well. One suggestion I have is the last heading in your article. I would suggest revising it slightly. Overall great Job! 570bcs (talk) 00:04, 20 November 2017 (UTC) 570bcs