User talk:72roadrunner/sandbox

feedback
Hi sorry I'm cutting this so close to the meeting! I have some feedback you can chew on as you move forward--
 * You can review this training on how to use the citation function of visual editor. At current, the source you have is not properly formatted
 * Are you creating a new biography? Or do you plan this as a section of another article? If it is to be a new article, then you should bold "Phoebe King “Febb” Ensminger Burn" per the the Wikipedia Manual of Style
 * The very first sentence should read like a complete sentence. Right now, you have Phoebe King “Febb” Ensminger Burn: 23 Nov 1873 — 18 Jun 1945 Wrote a letter to her son urging him to vote for ratification. An improvement would be something to the effect of
 * Phoebe King “Febb” Ensminger Burn: 23 Nov 1873 — 18 Jun 1945 was a US-born woman notable for her role in the ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The Amendment needed ratification from one more state to pass, so Ensminger wrote to her son, Harry T. Burn, who was a legislator in the Tennessee House of Representatives. Harry T. Burn was persuaded by his mother's letter; his vote broke a tie in the House, removing the last roadblock to the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment.

I can see that that's all you really have so far, as the next chunk of text appears to be a quote. It's fine to fall behind! You can request help or feedback from me whenever you need it--I'm here to make editing as easy as possible! Let me know if you have any question for me! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:54, 20 February 2019 (UTC)

More feedback
Hi I have some more feedback for you! As you noted, its fairly short, but with a bit more effort I could see this being successfully moved to mainspace where other editors will hopefully contribute as well. Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:29, 5 June 2019 (UTC)
 * I see that you're using Wikipedia as a source several times. Unfortunately, Wikipedia is not considered a reliable source, and cannot itself be used as a reference on the site. Those will need to be replaced with references to reliable sources that are preferably secondary sources.
 * I would stay away from idiomatic language such as "claim to fame". Perhaps instead you could say "...is notable due to her..."
 * relating to ...the 19th Amendment passed and women gained the right to vote. perhaps it would be more precise to say that some some women gained the right to vote