User talk:A5ly

Sandbox feedback
Hi! I wanted to give you a bit of feedback on your sandbox content. I noticed that at points it reads like a persuasive essay, per words like "despite" and "however" and some original research. You need to be careful to avoid trying to lead the reader to a specific point and make sure to only include content that is explicitly stated in the sourcing. The reason why it's so important to make sure that it doesn't come across as an essay is that content that reads like this is extremely likely to be reverted and I can tell that you've put quite a bit of work into this. As an essay this is very well written but it needs to have less editorializing like "Such glimpses into the conditions that laboratory animals in China are subject to have sparked outrage amongst the Chinese population and cries for further reform." It's good, but it doesn't really fit Wikipedia's WP:MoS. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 09:56, 7 August 2017 (UTC)