User talk:Aabifarah/sandbox

Peer Review- Monique
The Introduction section is a good start to the article and introduces the topic well. If you can find a specific date and location of where the movement stated or certain issues that lead to the movement would be useful to add to the introduction. The article covers a wide range of information about food justice and each section is important to the topic.

I think the article could benefit from a section about events / marches/ protest etc. that are associated with the food justice movement.

It would also add to the article to link to other Wikipedia articles (ex. in the introduction Food Sovereignty is mentioned here a link could be added to the Wikipedia page for Food Sovereignty).

The sources for the article are good, reliable sources, but it would make reading the article easier if you add the sources by citing them through Wikipedia. This will in text citation numbers chronologically and will add a reference section at the end of the article. Also when using some sources I think it would be better to not use long quotes but to paraphrase them or use smaller quotes. Mtyler29 (talk) 02:51, 23 May 2018 (UTC)

Peer review
Everything looks great so far ! Maybe fixing a few citation/format errors such as in the introduction. I am not too sure if the text featured in that box is supposed to be there or if it apart of a quotation, but if there is anyway to clarify that then that's an area to work on. Also, moving the pdf from that introduction to the actual sources list, instead of just placing it in the middle of the paragraph. I am also assuming that you will include more information in the find justice and positionally portion instead of leaving it blank. I truly enjoyed the section on victim blaming and how sources were included to back up evident acts of inequality, making these occurrences factual opposed to sounding open to interpretation or misconstrued. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cnava020 (talk • contribs) 17:42, 29 May 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
The article does a really nice job of leading readers into the topic of food justice. The neutral voice found in the introductory section makes readers like myself feels though the information I will be reading about is unbiased. There are many sections in the article giving readers an opportunity to engage in depth food justice. The list of organizations and descriptions is very insightful perhaps adding a section header to it may help readers know what is next to. Sources for the article seem are reliable (I'm sure y'all will move sources to the bottom). The section on Food sovereignty and the global south is very insightful perhaps finding an article that looks into the role of colonialism in food scarcity in the global south will help you delve even deeper. Overall this is a strong article.Adjara Tall (talk) 19:21, 29 May 2018 (UTC)Adjara Tall

Peer Review- Tanya
Hello all, the article is looking great so far!

As Monique has mentioned, y'all did your research and have a good amount of material in your article that is structured in a logical way that seems to draw upon a variety of articles.

Here are some things y'all can change to make the article more comprehensive:
 * proofreading: when the term "food justice" is mentioned, sometimes it is capitalized and sometimes it is not
 * some bias here or there: for example, under the "Rural Coalition" section, it is said that " This alliance of farmers, farm-workers, indigenous, migrant, and working people from rural areas is also one of the most diverse of rural groups". Why is it one of the most diverse? Who says it is the most diverse? This could be a good opportunity to include any sources that vouch for this position.
 * References/Sources: As Monique also mentioned, some further formatting of citations an be used to make the article flow a bit smoother. Some terms such as "institutional racism" (as mentioned in the lead section) could also benefit with it being sited through Wikipedia, since some people who may read your article in the future may not know what it means specifically and can thus access the term through a Wiki link

All in all, it's looking well for y'all and I can't wait to read the finished product, best of luck! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Tanya Piña (talk • contribs) 19:49, 29 May 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review- Ilana
This page has a wide range of topics to cover! Is there a specific region of the world or time period that you plan on focusing on? If you plan on listing all the food justice movements, it might be helpful to divide the sections/movements up by country and/or region. For example, the main US food justice movements, the protests, the policy-changes and the racism of fast food industries could be grouped together under one heading with subsections. I like how you've included quite a few solutions, but it would be helpful to know what areas those solutions are taking place in. For example, where are mobile trucks most prominent? One further suggestion is to make sure that there is not overt biases stated, specifically in the "Racism in the Food Industry" section. There are many places that you can offer links to further articles, (if they exist) such as the possible solutions- food trucks, urban farms, or other specific terms that you do not expound on. Other than that, great start so far! You all have lots of information to work with which is a plus because you can always cut down or rearrange!

Ilanamindiola (talk) 22:52, 29 May 2018 (UTC)

Response to Peer Review by Monique
Monique, thank you for your suggestions, they are all very helpful. You are right, links to other wiki pages would clean up the page and provide a better understanding to some of the topics discussed. Also, I have gone ahead and researched how the food justice movement may have started, I will make sure to share that with my group so that we can include that. -Brenda

Response to Peer Review by Adjara - Suwayda Ali
Hey Adjara! Thank you so much for the feedback. I completely agree with all your suggestions. It would make more sense to have a section header titled 'Food Justice Organizations' so readers understand why these organizations are being mentioned. The reason why the websites are at the end of the description is because we were trying to figure out a way for readers to click on the organization name and it lead to their website. If this isn't doable, the websites will be moved to end of the article. I do agree that including information on the role of colonialism in food scarcity in the global south will not only strengthen the article but will also allow readers to gain a deeper understanding of what effects folks accessibility to food. Once again thank you for the feedback. We will make changes to our article based off your advice. — Preceding unsigned comment added by SuwaydaAli (talk • contribs) 17:27, 31 May 2018 (UTC)

Response to Peer Review by Ilana - Maha Zubaidi
Hi Ilana, thank you for your feedback! Unfortunately we haven't really decided as a group what areas we want to focus on. I am considering adding a section on South Africa because of the land distribution conflict going on. I will see if we can separate things by region at least or if there is a section that can comment on that! We will look into other sources as well! I am not so sure about the "racism in food justice" title. I think it may be as neutral as possible without taking away from the intent of the section? Thanks so much for your feedback! Maha Zubaidi (talk) 22:18, 4 June 2018 (UTC)