User talk:Aagodoy/sandbox

Nicole's Peer Review
Hi Aagodoy!

I was very interested by what you wrote in your article. What a super interesting concept of dividing academic freedom by country. Here are a few comments based on Wikipedia's final review page: - I would fix the organization a little bit on the Mauritius section. There's a lot of good information there, but I get confused on the progression of the information as I read the section. Maybe add sub headings to focus on government policy versus press versus university work? - Check your grammar in the South Africa section- some sentences would sound better if you put them together. - In all paragraphs, many of the sentences can be combined into fewer longer sentences. For example, when you talk about that there is a journal about academic freedom in one sentence and the findings in another, it would sound better if you combined the sentences together (and less citing of sources too). - Try not to start sentences with "But" or "Where" - In the South Africa section, try not to use "abundance". I only see one case in this section, so maybe lead with "A major academic freedom scandal in South Africa occurred ..."

All in all, great job! Excited to see the final product. Nicole