User talk:Abdullahsml

1. Early life
General Khasdavochi (note: he was not called General Khasdavochi during his early years) grew up as a tin can on a recycling plant in Manchester. Here, he slowly evolved into a tuna sandwich. Unfortunately, for little Khasdavochi, a nuclear war broke out between Ethiopia and Switzerland, blowing him to bits as a missile detonated 0 centimeters from him. However, this was the start of life for Khasdavochi. Landing in Stockholm, miraculously intact despite being blown up to bits, he was found by a tramp who nurtured him...in his stomach. For 8 hours, he had to swim, punch, shout, shoot?, kill, fish, lick his way out, which he did do finally. Coming out of the tramp's anus, he instantly killed him by expanding his pelvis so wide apart, that it split. A macho Khasdavochi came into existence. Broad shouldered, deep voiced, but messy. It is not known whether he felt guilt for the tramp upon killing him.

2. As an Adolescence
Khasdavochi was a troublesome adolescent. He marked everywhere he went with a crater, dubbing him as the man who made many big fat oh so big craters. It was during his school years that Khasdavochi drew up his plans for world domination. Many of his teachers found him a troublesome child. Most of his time he spent in his garden, burning dry grass and torturing his sister to accept the role of egg donor for his plan to make 50,000,000 children of war. The only subjects he excelled in were Physics and Politics, as he spent most of his childhood years obsessed with these subjects. In terms of relations, Khasdavochi was at first shunned for being a lunatic. However, in his later years, his unconventionality won him many political friends, most of them hippies. It was only later, when they found out his ambitions at a beer hall conference that most shunned him. Displaying little emotion, he just brushed this aside, viewing this as something that his cause would bring. Khasdavochi soon became homosexual, only to follow this with a fervent hate for homosexuals. His physical appearance was something that attracted him much attention. Upon realising this, he dipped his entire head in household bleach, keeping his eyes open for much the time to deliberately scare those who were interested in him.

3. Late Adolescence
It was here where Khasdavochi met his arch nemesis, General Xiao. By the time Khasdavochi was 18, he travelled to Eastasia to meet the tyrant General Xiao. Thinking that his grand plan to demand power of Eastasia would work, he marched alone in nothing but flip flops to the Palace of The Dear, Exalted, and Loved Leader of our Glorious Prosperous Eastasian Power, General XIAO, demanding immediate handover of power to him. General Xiao, part perplexed, part shocked, laughed hysterically until his aide informed him of the reality. A fight immediately broke out, taking the two up on the the roofs, through the air, on the tree tops, over the bride, on the lake, under the sea, on top of McDonalds and finally back to the palace after stopping to consume a McChichen sandwich. All in all, it lasted relatively quickly, according to Xiao - 191 days. Battered and disgusted, Khasdavochi returned to his new homeland, Russia. Forming a new military/political party, he staged a coup d'etat that won him Russia. In a military campaingn, he rapidly took over Europe, conscripting every member of the population - even new born babies and dying patients.

3. A leader
Khasdavochi was a competent leader, leading Eurasia and Oceania to great economic prosperity. The Eastasian military soon became the most powerful of all the 2 world armed forces. Technologically, it was, as proclaimed by Xiao, 600,000 years ahead of its time. He took this back after he realised that it was Khasdavochi who was the secret leader of Eastasia + Oceania. General Xiao became so vexed by the news of Khasdavochi being a General, he shook his daughter too death.