User talk:Abisai Mweya

Meet my occultistic side. Find out the mystic me and un earth the hidden and unknown me. Give me to the hungry world that it may devour me. Open me up for all to enter. In me they may find peace as i am. Come on, take a look, take walk and get inside my occultistic me.(Abisai Mweya (talk) 11:24, 11 May 2011 (UTC)).
 * You are in the wrong place. Go to Bolgsopt and create your own blog. &mdash; RHaworth 10:31, 15 May 2011 (UTC)

Heart Attack
This takes your heart on a fast journey and you feel like your heart tissues are tearing as the blood gushes through at a real fast rate. Your blood is racing because the part of your mind that controls its motions has been jolted. Please don't die for lack of control of blood movement through your heart. Listen to me, it is you every time.

You were there when all this begun and you have witnessed every event that has gone into it. You can not deny it is you every time. So make it real this time and believe it is true. Excuse me! I don't like that heart of yours attacking you and becoming the cause of your death. For sure this does not suprise you, you saw it coming and therefore you must know how to contain it.

(Abisai Mweya (talk) 11:29, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

Independence
"Sijali kipitacho rohoni bali kionekanacho usoni..." the words come back strongly from my reading of Ebrahim Hussein's Mashetani. I also recollect a poem by him "Mtumbwi" and the words ''...Africa na Siasa zake... Mafuvu..." come back with greater resonance. This are about post independence idealogies ... Ubwana, udubwana, uzalendo, ujamaa, uhuru... The list could be endless but it was about one thing, drawing a line between the west and Africa and making Africa feel great hata kama ni usoni tu. As replayed by Kitaru and Juma in Mashetani, Shetani(colonialists and neocolonialist) belonged to the past and Binadamu belonged to the present and the future. There is the evil laughter, through out the whole play and it happens every time Binadamu/ Kitaru does anything important. Looking at this story i get into Ebrahim Hussein's mind and i feel for Africa. I read through the ideologies and i cry. I see the empty skulls of African post independence ideologies and i frown at the ideology of independence. Azimio... "Kosa limefanyika, kosa lisifanyike tena" becomes empty and i can still see Binadamu jumbing from leaf to leaf and falling all the time. I become one with Ebrahim Hussein and like the fish in "mtumbwi" cry out loud that - let us evolve something truly African and fill up this "mafuvu". (Abisai Mweya (talk) 11:41, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

Madness
I can feel it and it is really. it is true i have been mad before and the karma of madness still hounts me from my former lives. I easily fit in as a mad man and mad acts easily find there ways into my routine.

It is easy to follow and i know many will agree with me when i say i am not totally normal or for that matter; that i have never been normal. Madness seems to be the foundation of my life, it is my origin and it is the stay that holds the order of my life. get it from me, my state of madness is permanent.

Now that you know and now that you understand, it wont be good to keep calling me by name. If you say that i am mad, i get it that you know and only too well. I continue living this life, a mad person for i have no way of living like normal people. True, i look around and i have reason to believe that you too are mad and your madness is of the most refined type!

It fits us very well that we all fit toggether in this society that thrives and gets propelled by madness. You can understand it that we could not have survived if not for this singular fact of being mad. (Abisai Mweya (talk) 11:44, 20 May 2011 (UTC))

Corruption
Having resisted all temptations, having lived without worldly evil(sex and marriage), leaving behind no children and wife, having resurrected the dead and healed the sick; he was led to the cross and hanged so as to pay for the atoning of my sins. He agreed to endure the pain(wretchedness of humanity) and died to bloat out the old chapter. He rose from the dead to prove that death is nothing but a temporal state, He rose to heaven to prove the transcending fact of existence. He rejected the devils bribe of great worldly wealth of gold, silver and precious things. He could not accept the offer of great mansions and fertile land. He lived a homeless person's life on this earth. For great wine, women, wealth and earthly power, he could not bow to the devil. His was a greater glory than the world could give. Me and you have fallen. Often at small offers we bow down and worship the devil. We sin so easily thinking we are being practical with life. That is why we can not understand his ways. That is why we can not see his face and that is why we can not pertake in his Kingdom. Easter is once again with us. We can choose to go on with our fallen lives or refocus on the great GOD and serve Him for a great purpose. (Abisai Mweya (talk) 11:47, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

Nothing
Nothing! What did i just say? Nothing! Sometimes it is nothing that keeps me around. It is this nothing that i keep saying and it is this nothing we keep sharing. I have a bucketful of nothing to share and it is nothing i share often. Dont remind me. I know it is nothing as usual and this remind will mark nothing yet again. it appears we are enjoined in this beautiful art of doing nothing, saying nothing and being nothing. I understand it just well when you tell me it is nothing. How could we for this nothing of time live this life sharing this nothing of being in this nothing of place? I could count it again and the answer would still be nothing. Nothing comes my way, nothing ever comes my way and nothing is what i always get.(Abisai Mweya (talk) 11:51, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

Human Weakness and Souls
Hunting butterflies and grasshoppers is a game children love. I loved this game as well and i spent quite some length of my playing time hunting this beautiful insects. There is no need to emphasis that it was much easier to catch a grasshopper and quite a task to get one butterfly. Butterflies are beautiful but more beautiful when they open their wings. So are grasshoppers. When you kill a grasshopper or even a butterfly, you end up with something messy. I only chased the butterflies and i only chased the grasshoppers; i never wanted to catch any of them. Next time you read the sign do not pick the flowers, remember that things are best when left to nature. The flower is beautiful as you see it and never as you hold it. I am therefore different from those who bend and pick flowers, look at them smell them and then throw them a way. You now understand why i could easily keep and garden but never own a green house where flowers get mutilated to make one rich. The average lifespan for an adult butterfly is 20 to 40 days. Some species live no longer than three or four days; others may live up to six months. Even for the three days a butterfly lives it is about beauty. From egg to adult, butterflies undergo a series of physical transformations known as metamorphosis. The eggs can hatch within a few days, or within months or even years, depending on whether or not conditions are right. A butterfly's egg does not hatch carelessly. In general butterflies mean freedom, lightness and detachment. You now understand why i could chase but never catch a butterfly! I also love freedom, lightness, detachment. Yes, in many countries people consider butterflies as human souls:In legends butterflies are the souls of dead persons or bring luck. In some countries when one dies the window is opened for the butterfly to fly out. Now you know why i never would kill a butterfly! It is a soul. Human weaknesses such as improvidence began to be identified with the grasshopper's behaviour. So an unfaithful woman (hopping from man to man) became known as 'a grasshopper'. Those who are unable to keep a single subject in focus but keep bringing in inappropriate associations (hopping from one thing to another) are said to have 'a grasshopper mind'. Let me talk about the grasshopper some other time, dont forget that there is a species of grasshopper that only feeds on a particular species of plants and can survive on one host all its feeding life.

Friendship
Had i been asked to say how many friends i would have in this life, i would have started counting right then. I would have designed a method of using sticks to indicate any new acquaintances i made. I would pick this corner and place each stick here.Yes, then today evening, i could count. As i counted i could try to recall whic stick represented who and when exactly i put it in that corner. Today, this matter seems complex and i just sit here and try to remember the friends i lost along the way. It is exactly now i remember how you stood by me and lit a light in the dark hours of my life. I remember how you smiled at that moment when sadness engulfed me. It is you i remember when i look at this corner that could have, perhaps a small mountain of sticks symbolising my life's collection of friends. The treasures i collected of friendship are made a live by your hope in that moment when my heart was tied up in despair. It is this wish i have, that tells me to have never lost such a dear friend. Looking down at this designate corner and seeing not a single stick, then i remember that in life we gain nothing. And friends we create to loose. I can not exactly remember the moment i incurred the loss. It must be one of those parting moments when exhausted with the cares of life one takes a break for the day. I dont remember the circumstances but must be one of those when you turn your back and decide to walk your path. You are like a lovely bird that took the flight not remembering there are those like me who would die again and again at the sight of not seeing you again. For the memory of you, i will walk to this corner and take a long gasp of air. I will hold it in my lungs for as long as it is natural then i will late it out knowing their is nothing more i could do. Life, sure demands for some things to come to an end. While at this corner, i will sing two child hood songs and try to remember those we sang the songs together. The idea of two childhood songs reminds me of eras in my life. Could it be i am who i am because i lost everything in my past? (Abisai Mweya (talk) 12:08, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

Self
I am okey here in my usual conditions, infact let me say, iam doing well. Please, just pass. Dont stand there and look at me and when you look at me dont smile. I have been accused of looking at people and smiling at them. Please just pass on indifferently. Go on with your business and leave me to mine. Do not do anything that will call for my action. Always, i have been accused for doing what i did. Though it is said that every action generates an equal reaction, i have always been condemned for doing a wrong thing. Do not make me do anything that will add up to the long list. Let me stay here. Let me talk to this empty head of mine and let me share in the gossip of my self confused mind. If you hear me talk or ask a question do not respond even though you may have an answer. Dont count the number of people around me. They may be around but not close to me. Do not group me with those i hang out with for we share nothing in common. I have learnt to be a lone even in the big crowd. Do not call this people my associates. I long gave up my freedom of association. Though i stand here in this loud crowd and though i walk with this many people, i am alone and on my own. I do busines but this are for labours of my up keep. I am a man consigned to solituded and i take all labels put on me in stride. For i have never seen a reason to fight or run. And here i stay, being just myself! (Abisai Mweya (talk) 12:13, 20 May 2011 (UTC))

Deathly Embrace
Agreed, this relationship ends here. Let me flee before you devour me as the female praying mantis devours the male after mating. I thought there would marriage and that we would become family but i was wrong, your cannibalistic instincts could not allow. You lured me with you charm and i followed. I gave you my love but i could see you like the female praying mantis, come for my head. You said that it could not get better while i had my head. Your joy could only be complete if you ate my head off! I don't want it to be by an accident that i survive from your deathly embrace, i want to go now by my decision. I can sense it and i know it, you are a sexual predator. You use sex to lure your pray and your pray i will not be! your pheromone secretion captivates my senses making me understand you are receptive. It appeals to me and make me prisoner and the urge to follow is damningly strong. I know, that once i get engrossed into the grasp of your firm embrace, nothing will get me out alive. I am sure that being sexually cannibalistic, you will devour me while and after we mate. Reason tells me to run, though i am emotionally week. I will not approach you, i will not mount you and i will not mate with you! Last mating season i saw you devouring my friend, you first bit off his front tarsus, and consumed the tibia and femur. Next you gnawed out his left eye... I saw you eat him up slowly while you mated and after. I dont want to end up like he did. (Abisai Mweya (talk) 12:17, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

Tribe
I want to mark this point for i keep forgetting. I want to put a bright mark here so that i can see it as readily as when i want to. This is the point for me where i leave my tribe and it is also the point at which i will come for my tribe. In really terms, it is a door between that old past and this great future. You can also call it the point where i leave my utility horse. My tribe for me ends where myself begin. If you get me in this tribe; on the other side before this mark please remember to say "he is not the one". Tribe is what i run to when faced with failure. While i am doing well and while i am walking beyond this point; never say to me that i belong to that tribe. Beyond this point towards this position; while i am succeeding, i walk alone. What would one need a horse for when moving into the next century? Horses pulled carriages in the days when cars had not come by. So, if I say this place is where i leave my utility horse please understand. As, i go forward i keep in mind that bending is what you do when you can not get it by standing upright. Yes, In case i have to bend; in case it drops too low, i want to come here to my tribe. At-least here i can start again. My utility horse is always obedient to carry me back to this point. It is always royal to stay until i need it again. My utility horse never complains and i ride it as i wish. Just in any case i will need this horse, as sure i will; i want to come here and be reminded by this mark that this is where i did leave it.(Abisai Mweya (talk) 12:51, 20 May 2011 (UTC)).

False Beliefs
It matters that i am opposed to the idea. Take it or leave it I don't feel comfortable about it and reason does not allow me to accept it. Could be you think that i gloat over this idea so much. I want you to understand that why i keep talking against it is because it is important to me. You would want to have an absolute free reign over this matter but this i wont allow. It is not war, it is only a difference of opinion. Now, i have not said that your mind is weak and feeble and that your ideas are too much out of this world. I could have loved to say that but etiquette does not allow me. I could easily call you foolish or even stupid but i wont do that for i am one not endowed with the use of language as vulgar. It is in humility of my nature and in the meekness of my character that i come to you yet again. I don't pay attention to your threats and intimidation, i only want to focus on my duty. I will be failing in my responsibility to leave you to your absurd end. Sorry, i have not bowed as i approached you. Forgive me that i am not on my knees pleading my case. understand me, this is not a plea but a claim to what is right and just. Please spare me the glare of those high handed boot lickers and tail wagers at your court and don't harrass me with the gate keepers at your gate. Nothing will stop me from speaking my mind, not even time, not even space not even presence and absence. So you tell yourself you are the most powerful. That you are the authority on matters as this. That you have the final say. Listen to me, i do not share in your false beliefs and pretense and i do not pay homage to your acting God. Listen to this, you are wrong on all this matters and you wont silence my voice! (Abisai Mweya (talk) 18:58, 21 May 2011 (UTC)).

Great ideas
After all is said and done and the battle sirens have subsided. After the majority of the crying lot will have wiped their tears and shut their wailing mouths it will be time to open a new chapter and write down these words. These words will be for those who listen, hear and understand those who wont run away to hide. I mean to tell you that there will be no more sadness and no more crying for the idea that died before its time. Killers of great ideas and hope will be buried in a common grave besides the ocean of gloom and their memories be erased permanently from the records of those who ever lived. Those who use our collective power and resources to kill and destroy us shall be denied an opportunity to do so. That will be time when virtue will rein supreme and the hearts of men will run after and seek purity. That will be time when hunger for justice will be the only thing existing in the hearts of men. Men and women will pursue righteousness and desire to do only that which is right. I want you and i to glory in this moment, when we wake up to chant It is done! We will listen to the great songs of victory and give ourselves to the deep expression of their meaning and there upon get ourselves a new birth. We shall wake to a new beginning, an era of thoughtfulness and understanding.That will be time when men will no more share in pursuit of false power. It will be an era when only the great while attain greatness. Mediocrity and self glorification shall have no place. It shall be an era for humanity having found itself!

(Abisai Mweya (talk) 19:01, 21 May 2011 (UTC)).