User talk:Abolden03/sandbox

I think that you did a great job on explaining the disease in the abstract, explaining how each diagnosis test works, symptoms, and citing recent research and giving details on the article you picked. Like you mentioned, you are working on the mechanism but other than that, I think you have made a great effort and just need to fine tune. I also liked how everything on the page is cited and organized. -- Roma Patel

--Sweiner02 (talk) 05:20, 14 November 2017 (UTC)
 * What's going on with the bolded section?
 * Abstract should not have a heading. Look at how it shows up on other pages.
 * There are a number of awkward phrasing and grammar issues. I encourage you to get help reading through it.
 * "Various other diseases and conditions may give rise to Blepharitis, whether it be infectious or noninfectious" missing context. Other than what?
 * I feel like you're modifying the text that is already there just to modify it and making it less clear in the process. Don't do that. It's not plagiarism to use it: you're improving something that already exists. Only change the text to add things or improve clarity and accuracy. If the text that is there is ok, leave it!
 * The long list of different types seems a little imposing for the abstract. It's hard to parse. Can you simplify?
 * Try to think a little more about organization of the abstract and what actually goes in it.
 * I know you are aware that your mechanism needs more detail, but this is a good place to talk about the different infections.
 * Much of the article is well-cited, but it's spotty in places like the diagnosis and cause sections.
 * Home Care TreaTment
 * Your recent research should be in paragraph form, and easily lay accessible. The articles should just be cited in the same way as all other citations, not left as links. Try to summarize key findings of each in 1-3 sentences.

I think you did a very good good with the page. For the most part every thing is explain very well and the organization is good. I Like the structure of the page it flows very nice. I Know you just started the recent research section, but make sure to elaborate on each one and that is easy to understand because some articles can be compex. Also if you can find more information on the prognosis that would be good as well. --- Neal Patel — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nealhp427 (talk • contribs) 18:05, 14 November 2017 (UTC)

You're page looks great so far! You've got a ton of detailed information for every section and it is all explained really well. I think you already noted a few places you could edit on your page. -rebecca murphy — Preceding unsigned comment added by Brickelephant (talk • contribs) 19:54, 14 November 2017 (UTC)