User talk:Addeyolson/sandbox

Natural Family Planning
I really like how this article is not biased at all. It tells exactly what Natural Family Planning is and the history behind it, but it also gives the debate side so it lets us know the pros and cons of Natural Family Planning. I would maybe state more statistics of the effectiveness and the go more in depth of the methods that are used.  I like where you're going with this - but it would be helpful to have a little more information about what you'll add and how the sources will help with this - Prof Hammad 

https://ccli.org/what-is-nfp/

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/index.cfm

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2011/july/why-we-dont-use-natural-family-planning.html

Addey Olson's Contribution
Copied from [United Nations Population Fund]:

Campaign to end fistula[edit] This UNFPA-led global campaign works to prevent obstetric fistula, a devastating and socially isolating injury of childbirth, to treat women who live with the condition and help those who have been treated to return to their communities. The campaign works in more than 40 countries in Africa, the Arab States and South Asia.

Addey Olson's Contribution:

The leader of the campaign to end fistula, Erin Anastasi, decided to start this campaign in 2003 in hopes of ending deaths of new mothers after developing fistula. This campaign is now active in over 50 countries working not only to prevent fistula, but also to give fistula survivors a sense of reforming their life after overcoming this burden. Nearly 800 women in Africa and Asia die after childbirth and more than 2 million women all across America are living with fistula. The campaign focuses mainly on providing training and funds to support women living with fistula, and also programs aimed towards survivors. The campaign is also looking at ways to prevent fistula from developing in general by providing medical supplies and technical guidance and support. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Addeyolson (talk • contribs) 22:37, 28 March 2018 (UTC)

''' Recall the "plagarism" training module - everything should be in your own words and this appears to be copied from the UNPF website. Also, you should be using more than one source - Prof H '''

Peer Review By MosiurMunna
After a close examination of your edit, you plan to make on United Nations Population Fund, it seems like you should have added little more than what you have on your sandbox. On United Nations Population Fund, there are many subheadings that missing lot of information and many of them there aren’t any or very little information such as leaderships and Goodwill ambassadors. You could have contributed to edit on subheading such as origins and Development goals. It has mention 17 goals of UNPF and few examples are given. However, others gold isn’t given, and you could have added the missing goals. At your sandbox, you basically copied everything’s from the main article without cited. You should add few citations on your edit and do some research with correct reference. I hope this is helpful. Thanks!MosiurMunna (talk) 04:15, 2 April 2018 (UTC)

Your review was very helpful! I added under the Sustainable Development Goals heading. I included what the goals are and how the United Nations is looking at the future in order to attain these goals.

Thanks again for your review! (Addeyolson (talk) 00:18, 5 April 2018 (UTC))

Contribution to the Sustainable Development Goals heading
There are 17 Sustainable Development Goals that the United Nation has implemented in order to improve the lives of people and the planet. The goals work to move forward in bettering people and the resources available currently without jeopardizing how future generations will access and use their resources for survival. The 17 goals don't just look at the next few years, they look at the big picture and include everyone, everywhere. In order to attain these goals, it is important to look directly at the global aspect of health because it will result in new forms of social organization and interaction to grow the economy. Unfortunately, the Sustainable Development Goals are not cheap to fund, these goals cost a total of 5-7 trillion dollars each year to keep moving forward. The United Nations has turned to looking for investment opportunities to make up for the almost 3 trillion they are short. Luckily for the United Nations, the overall global income is increasing, making more people susceptible to invest their money into these goals to help make a better future for the people and planet. (Addeyolson (talk) 00:16, 5 April 2018 (UTC))

The 17 Sustainable Development Goals include: 1. No poverty 2. Zero hunger 3. Good health and well being 4. Quality education 5. Gender equality 6. Clean water and sanitization 7. Affordable and clean energy 8. Decent work and economic growth 9. Industry, innovation and infrastructure 10. Reduced inequalities 11. Sustainable cities and communities 12. Responsible consumption and production 13. Climate action 14. Life below water 15. Life on land 16. Peace and justice, strong institutions 17. Partnerships for the goals

https://content.ubs.com/microsites/together/en/spotlight/sustainable-investing.html?campID=SEM-BRAND&s_kwcid=AL!430!3!251407827974!e!!g!!sustainable%20development%20goals&ef_id=WsVccwAAAaJ7RD@0:20180404231459:s http://www.un.org/sustainabledevelopment/sustainable-development-goals/ https://www.alumniportal-deutschland.org/en/global-goals/2030-agenda/ — Preceding unsigned comment added by Addeyolson (talk • contribs) 00:20, 5 April 2018 (UTC)

Additional Comments by MosiurMunna
I think the new change to the article made a lot better and clear to understand. There are a lot of improvement on your article. Well-done of adding the additional goals. There is one sentence that I think you could consider changing. In your 3rd sentence you could have say, “the 17 goals don’t represent only current situation and aim to help one group of people; but it’s look at the bigger picture to help all the population around the world.” It’s not important but you may consider of adding wiki link to sustainable development. As I have mention in my last feedback, you should have added few citations at the end of your sentence where you were using your research reference. Overall you did good job of improving this article. ThanksMosiurMunna (talk) 03:58, 11 April 2018 (UTC)