User talk:Agarma/sandbox

Peer Review
Hi! Really enjoyed reading the article, but I had a few questions that I thought might be helpful for a second draft.

1. I was wondering if you could explain what Scheherazde is? It's mentioned in the article but I think some context would be helpful for readers that are trying to understand what Mernissi's arguments were. 2. You mentioned "The Satellite, The Prince, and Scheherazde: The Rise of Women as Communicators." What is that? Is it a book, or an essay, or something else? Maybe some more information on it's major themes could be useful to buff up the article a little! 3. The line that starts off with "regardless of whether or not she is in Moroccan society..." has a grammatical problem, might want to look at that! 4. I think it would be interesting to add a bit more information about the field work she was doing in Morocco. I would love to read more about that! 5. The article mentions some awards that she won. I was wondering what those awards were for? That might help readers understand why she is such an important figure in the History of Feminism!

KhaliaN (talk) 22:39, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
Done by Raeganzottl (talk) 04:05, 3 November 2019 (UTC)raeganzottl

Here are just a few things that I think would be beneficial to add.

1. I think it would be helpful to include more information about her works as the current information is very limited. I think by describing her texts more in-depth, it will create a clearer image of the work and views that Fatema had and how she presented them to others. It will also create a better understanding of what Islamic feminism is.

2. Considering the page depicts the history of an individual I think it would be more helpful to change the structure of the page to make it arranged chronologically. I think the biggest change would be to change the bibliography section. It mostly explains her education so you could just rename it and then move the information about her death to the end to create a better organization. Because it is only a small amount you could create a legacy section and incorporate it there with more information about the impact she had on others/feminism.

3. The information you added about the article she wrote is great! It just might make more sense to include this in her works section. (unless you decide to combine the sections)

4. It mentions that she does sociological research. I think you should include more about what this research was specifically. Also maybe include her findings as well. This can improve understanding of her work and what fields she was particularly focused on and what key issues she wanted to bring attention to.

5. For what work was she awarded the scholarships? By providing this information it can be clear which of her actions were considered most significant by the academic community.

6. I am also a little confused. What is The Satellite, the Prince, and Scheherazade? Is it another one of her written works? If so you should include it in the works section and explain more about it there.

7. Also, I would recommend adding more to the leading section on the page to create a better summary of Fatema and the main aspects of her life/work. This creates a quick broad understanding for readers that can help improve understanding with further reading of the page.

8. Finally, although it is small I would include when she was born. This can create a timeline so people know how old she was when did she certain things or when her achievements occurred in her life.

I like what you've added so far. Good luck with the rest of your work and I hope this helps.

Peer Review 3
Hi, I really love the work you have done so far, and I appreciate how easy it is for me to see where you have made edits! I think a lot of my comments will be in line with the other two reviewers, but I hope I can still be helpful.

As someone who knows nothing about Morocco, it would be helpful to link to more information about the "nationalist movement" referenced near the beginning of the biography. Is that significant in terms of the quality/type of education she received?

I would also benefit from more context about the Scheherazades, is this something she started/founded? Who is the target audience?

Perhaps this is just my own ignorance, but I previously didn't know what a "harem" was and it sounds like that was very influential for her, so it might be helpful to link or define.

Could you talk a little more specifically about what subordination she brought into questions? And what were the impacts of this- did this result in attempted legal reform, or social movements? Is this in conversation with any other writers, or even popular debates (ex: Hijab as a symbol of oppression)?

I think the biography could be decided into "early life" and "Scholarship/career."

Sorry my thoughts are a little scattered, good luck!Teagan999 (talk) 07:05, 7 November 2019 (UTC)

Instructor Feedback. Note: This article has received three peer reviews.
I will be sending a general statement that applies to all or virtually all of the first drafts and peer reviews through email to every member of the class, along with the grades for the peer reviews. On these "talk" pages I will only be posting my own feedback on the first drafts.

This article posed a different challenge from some others because I have not yet covered her in class, so that in some ways put both the author and the peer reviewers at a disadvantage. Nevertheless, you did a really good job finding new solid things to use to strengthen her article; I also did not myself know the particular works you decided to focus on for your additions so I was happy to see that. Also, you received three reviews that I think provided some excellent pointers. For instance (just to single one thing out of many), I never would have realized that some people don’t know what a harem is, so it’s great that De Seguin asked for clarification about what that even is. One thing to consider is to link to other Wikipedia articles as a way to flesh out and clarify. But I also doubt that just linking to “harem” (I am guessing there is a wikipedai article on that) would be enough in this case, because “harem” seems to be an absolutely central concept for this thinker. I would very strongly urge you to utilize the following works for your second draft: Rhouni, Raja. Secular and Islamic Feminist Critiques In the Work of Fatima Mernissi. Leiden: Brill, 2010. (see https://search-library-ualberta-ca.login.ezproxy.library.ualberta.ca/catalog/7476086) Ennaji, Moha, Fatima Sadiqi, and Karen Vintges. Moroccan Feminisms: New Perspectives.(see https://search-library-ualberta-ca.login.ezproxy.library.ualberta.ca/catalog/7468242). This contains an article by Rhouni about Mernissi but also can help you put her into a broader context, both for her own article and for your additional contribution where you integrate her into and link her to bigger narratives and categories. Cooke, Miriam. Women Claim Islam: Creating Islamic Feminism Through Literature. New York: Routledge, 2001. (https://search-library-ualberta-ca.login.ezproxy.library.ualberta.ca/catalog/2444890) A big part of this Wikipedia improvement project is just about getting that kind of feminist scholarship onto the site.FeliceLifshitz (talk) 22:46, 11 November 2019 (UTC)FeliceLifshitz

Peer Review from Breanna P
Hi Lbouchie :) I was just wondering if there might be some room for a section talking about orientalism in connection, I saw there were some connections from the link : https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-e&q=Fatema+Mernissi with lots of good sources for reference. Also wondered about her being the "pride of islamic feminism" there were 11 additional peer review articles available on Ualberta library website: under Fatema Mernissi I am not sure if there is a specialist on Islamic studies (other than Dr. Lifshitz)- perhaps some of the articles we read in class relating to Abu Lughod as she has a lot of pieces as well to draw in connection to Islamic feminism. Also many photographs are always excellent ways to develop the article! Breannapalmer (talk) 23:07, 9 November 2019 (UTC)


 * Just a note that I had mixed myself and put your peer review on the talk page of the live article! :) I have moved it here so that you could read the peer review/feedback. Breannapalmer (talk) 21:49, 17 November 2019 (UTC)