User talk:Ahaas2/Gender system

Overall:

In the gender binary and Non-European gender systems section, the style and structures of sentences in your editing seem like an essay writing style rather than the writing based on facts, statistics, and research. I would suggest writing your paragraph to be more precise and easy for the readers to follow. For example, "the difference between sex and gender is that sex is the biological differences between men and women, so which set of X and Y chromosomes that you are born with. Whereas gender is the action of masculine or feminine that one decides to define with in a social setting." can be written as "Sex and gender are different. Sex refers to physical and physiological features including chromosomes, gene expression, hormone levels, and reproductive anatomy. Whereas gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, expressions, and actions of masculine or feminine that one decides to define their identities". Another good example would be the last edit you made in Gendered violence which is stated based on facts and numbers.

Gender binary:

"This idea of placing ideas with gender norms is not something that is as old as one would imagine. The first ideas of trying to figure out how men and women differed can be tied all the way back to the start of psychological studies in the 1800s." Then the idea of masculinity vs femininity was the next topic to be discussed in the 1930s, which was instrumental in developing the concept that is known today as gender binary."

- more specific about the "ideas". How do the ideas relate to and impact the gender binary?

- I would suggest bringing up more of the history or the story behind it.

Non-European gender systems:

I like the point you made in the "Sādhin part" which suits well in the paragraph: "One of the societal benefits to become a sādhin is that you are able to attend cremations, as in Hindu culture only men are allowed to be at."

The cultural definition of homosexuality:

I think there is room to add in this section. This is an article I found pretty interesting. The article provides the contents of the attitudes of different cultures toward sexuality and sexual behavior. Hope this help! https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/9781118896877.wbiehs110

Feedback from Andre Torres:

The repeated use of "idea" in these sentences "This idea of placing ideas with gender norms is not something that is as old as one would imagine. The first ideas of trying to figure out how men and women differed can be tied all the way back to the start of psychological studies in the 1800s. Then the idea of masculinity vs femininity was the next topic to be discussed in the 1930s, which was instrumental in developing the concept that is known today as gender binary." became very confusing to read. Although I think I know what you're saying, you could rewrite it in a shorter, more precise couple of sentences.

I liked the "Sekrata" addition to the Non-Euro section. I think you should still focus a bit more on that section because there are so many more traditions in the world than the ones held or originated from Europe.

I don't think the last sentence in Gendered violence should be in this article because it seems opinion influenced, not saying your wrong, but just because of the setting.