User talk:Ahm248/Sustainability

There are only a few small things I wanted to point out. When you mention how BP's marketing strategy has changed, it sounds a little accusatory. I know you are just quoting Doyle, but I think the introductory sentence presents it in a bit of a negative light. I might be overreading it, though I think it might be better if you said something along the lines of how there is criticism against this model and then quoted Doyle's description of BP. I also want to suggest adding Wikipedia links for some terms that could be better explained in their own articles, such as Beyond Petroleum, Julie Doyle (if she has one), and Marine Protected Areas. I thought the paragraph on Indigenous beliefs was very interesting and well-written. Overall, your additions definitely add depth and detail to the article! Bucketkitty (talk) 07:59, 3 December 2021 (UTC)

Will’s Peer Review
Great article Anna Rose! A very interesting read that focuses on not just the more “sciencey” ecological part of sustainability, but the social, technological, and economical aspects of it too. I feel that the way you have written this article is easy-to-understand for the less sophisticated of us (me for example). I like the focus on sustainability throughout the piece; I feel I was not distracted at any point. I think that some changes you could make for this article are to perhaps make it more organized and streamlined, especially with your titles. For example, maybe you could have a science section, a culture section, an economic section, and so forth. Also, while I do like the writing style of the article, others might want it to be more formal, especially when explaining some of the concepts. All of this would help to improve the clarity (for some at least) and organization of the article in my opinion. I think the most important edit I would suggest is to just organize your sections regarding types of sustainability just to make it even clearer for readers. Regarding what I extrapolate from your article to put into mine, I would say that the way you have structured different types of sustainability regarding differing fields (along with the detail you have for each section) is something I could look to do. Great stuff Anna Rose!

DoubleDub2021 (talk) 16:13, 7 December 2021 (UTC)