User talk:Airrick321/sandbox

DRT
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirtbox_(cell_phone)

1) I would change the sentence structure and word choice of the lead. 2) I would add a citation to the 2nd sentence under the "History" section. 3) I would keep the whole page in the past tense 4) Many of the sentences need to be corrected 5) Remove run-on sentences 6) Other grammar errors need to be fixed


 * Approved! Josef Horáček (talk) 21:29, 7 February 2015 (UTC)

Assignment 2
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldfish_(snack)

my sources:

http://www.lexisnexis.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/lnacui2api/results/docview/docview.do?docLinkInd=true&risb=21_T21434973147&format=GNBFI&sort=RELEVANCE&startDocNo=1&resultsUrlKey=29_T21434973151&cisb=22_T21434973150&treeMax=true&treeWidth=0&selRCNodeID=33&nodeStateId=411en_US,1,29,26,226&docsInCategory=964&csi=398253&docNo=2

Bloomberg, News. "Pepperidge Farm wins appeal in cracker dispute; Federal judge rules that Nabisco cannot sell goldfish-shaped snacks." Milwaukee Journal Sentinel 01 Sept. 1999: 2. NewsBank - Archives. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.

http://www.lexisnexis.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/lnacui2api/results/docview/docview.do?docLinkInd=true&risb=21_T21434973147&format=GNBFI&sort=RELEVANCE&startDocNo=1&resultsUrlKey=29_T21434973151&cisb=22_T21434973150&treeMax=true&treeWidth=0&selRCNodeID=33&nodeStateId=411en_US,1,29,26,226&docsInCategory=964&csi=6742&docNo=5

http://www.lexisnexis.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/lnacui2api/results/docview/docview.do?docLinkInd=true&risb=21_T21434973147&format=GNBFI&sort=RELEVANCE&startDocNo=1&resultsUrlKey=29_T21434973151&cisb=22_T21434973150&treeMax=true&treeWidth=0&selRCNodeID=33&nodeStateId=411en_US,1,29,26,226&docsInCategory=964&csi=247363&docNo=7

Airrick321 (talk) 08:07, 12 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, these links are not working for me. Josef Horáček (talk) 23:56, 16 February 2015 (UTC)
 * I looked at your edits on the page. The sources are appropriate and you inserted them well. I especially like the new section on legal issues. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:09, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
 * But LexisNexis spells with an "i" not "u." You should fix that. I'm talking about the reference section of the article. Also make sure "Goldfish" is capitalized whenever it refers to the product. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:13, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

The article I picked
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Saturday_Night_Live_(1975%E2%80%9380)Airrick321 (talk) 09:32, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

Article analyzation
The article begins with a description of how the show formed and its means of success. It discusses the first season and how the show made their player's famous. The article continues to describe the next four seasons and the temporary departure of the shows creator. It ends withs a section breaking down the cast members of each season and the use of political satire. I believe the article flows well and balances the information accordingly.

My Lead
The years 1975-1980 of Saturday Night Live (typically abbreviated SNL) created the framework of the show that is still used today. With Lorne Michaels as the show's leader, it engaged popular culture through comedy, music, and political satire. The original cast helped shape the careers of the likes of Chevy Chase, John Belushi, and Bill Murray. Despite the show's success, many people involved had drug problems and personality conflicts. By the end of the first five years, the original cast and many writers had left the show. Airrick321 (talk) 21:48, 22 February 2015 (UTC)
 * I think that's a great lead. Just go ahead and post it. Josef Horáček (talk) 06:42, 1 March 2015 (UTC)