User talk:Ajose26/sandbox

Copy/Edit Assignment
This page shows the correction I made to the 7-11 article []

Ajose26 (talk) 15:17, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

Additional Sources
This article need additional sources. []

Source 1: Rascoff, Spencer, and Stan Humphries. Zillow Talk : The New Rules Of Real Estate. [N.p.]: Grand Central Publishing, 2015. eBook Collection (EBSCOhost). Web. 13 Feb. 2015. Ajose26 (talk) 15:17, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

Source 2: Naveau, Jim. "Buckeyes send a message with 59-0 win." Lima News, The (OH) 07 Dec. 2014: Newspaper Source. Web. 22 Feb. 2015. Ajose26 (talk) 15:18, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

Source 3: Price, S. L. "Mississippi." Sports Illustrated 121.21 (2014): 62-70. Academic Search Complete. Web. 22 Feb. 2015. Ajose26 (talk) 15:13, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

Source 4: Ridenour, Marla. "Ohio State notebook: Injured quarterback J.T Barrett enjoys championship, looks forward to starting rehab." Akron Beacon Journal (OH) 14 Jan. 2015: Newspaper Source. Web. 13 Feb. 2015. Ajose26 (talk) 15:13, 22 February 2015 (UTC)


 * Good job, but the formatting of the references in the article needs fixingJosef Horáček (talk) 05:39, 1 March 2015 (UTC). Some have unnecessary square brackets around them and other errors. They should look more or less like what you posted here.


 * Just an FYI that I've removed the first source from the article. It's unclear how a book on investing in real estate has any bearing on the 2015 Sugar Bowl, let alone college football. --Usernameunique (talk) 06:56, 30 December 2018 (UTC)

Article
This is the article I choose that needs a better lead section. Ajose26 (talk) 15:51, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

Analysis of Article
Every section of the article is very short. The term "crude" is not defined at all in the leading section, this may confuse your average reader. The article jumps from focusing on the U.S. in great detail to other parts of the world that lack detail. The table that shows the Highest Crude Death Rates Worldwide but only mainly speaks of the US rates which is not even included in the table for highest rates. Ajose26 (talk) 16:06, 22 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes, this article needs a lot of work. The term "crude death rate" is defined, but the definition comes in the second sentence. In the new lead, it might be better to first explain what a death rate is and why we measure it, then define "crude death rate" (as one of the most popular formulas for measuring the death rate), and only then provide numbers. By the way, the first section, "Highest crude death rates worldwide," has no place in this article. It has no introduction, the numbers have nothing to do with the twentieth century, and only highest death rates are reported (why not lowest?). Feel free to take it out. Instead, it needs to be noted somewhere in the lead that the death rate varies dramatically from country to country. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to show which regions saw greatest changes in the death rate over the twentieth century. Josef Horáček (talk) 05:52, 1 March 2015 (UTC)

Article
This is the new article I will be editing to provide a better lead. Ajose26 (talk) 17:14, 5 March 2015 (UTC)

Analysis of Article
This article lead section is very brief. It does not contain any important information about the artist themselves. The whole article is self is very choppy. Lacking details in every section. Ajose26 (talk) 17:14, 5 March 2015 (UTC)