User talk:Akalra.18/sandbox

Arielle's Peer Review
Hi Anjali! I'm Arielle from Thursday's class and I was assigned to peer review your articles. Let me know if you have any feedback on the feedback!

Background You provide a solid background for healthcare in India, and as someone who knew nothing about this topic, your summary was clear and easy to understand. I have a few minor suggestions to improve the sentence flow, but that's about it for this section!

"The public health system in India today evolved due to a number of influences across the past 70 years. A form of urban and rural public care that was paid for by the Indian government was suggested by The Bhore Committee Report of 1946."

I would consider editing these sentences to read "The public health system in India evolved from a number of influences throughout the past 70 years. The Bhore Committee Report of 1946 suggested a form of urban and rural public health care that was paid for by the Indian government."

"Then in 1983 the first National Health Policy of India was created with the goals of improving the practicality and reach of the system as well as incorporating private along with public clinics into the health sphere."

I would delete "then" and start your sentence "In 1983,..."

Sub centers

Again, just some minor suggestions for the flow:

"A sub center is designed to serve extremely rural areas with the expenses fully covered by the national government. It has been mandated to have at least two workers (male and female) serving a population of 5000 people (or 3000 in a remote, dangerous location) to improve issues of basic health. Sub centers also work to educate rural peoples about healthy measures for a more long-term impact."

Consider: A sub center is designed to serve extremely rural areas with all expenses fully covered by the national government. Mandates require sub centers to staff at least two workers (male and female) to serve a population of 5000 people (or 3000 in a remote, dangerous location) to improve issues of basic health. Sub centers also work to educate rural populations about healthy measures for a more long-term impact.

I am not sure what you mean by healthy measures. Is this health education? If so, I think it would be useful to clarify.

Government Public Health Initiatives

"MPH and PHD programs in public health are often lacking in number of students and resources. PHFI aims to further these programs and educate more people in this field. The research discovered would be made transparent to the Indian public at large, so that the entire nation is aware of health systems in their country. "

This is fascinating! Again, I just have some minor suggestions for edits on sentence structure:

Consider: MPH and PHD programs in public health are often lacking enrolled students and resources. PHFI aims to further these programs and educate more people in this field. The research would be made transparent to the Indian public at large, so that the entire nation is made aware of health systems in their country.

Low Quality Care

"A large problem is reduced quality of care due to health professionals being untrained and diagnosing the symptoms wrong. This leads to them prescribing the incorrect medicine."

Consider: Misdiagnosis from poorly trained health professionals is a large problem.

Overall, I think that your article is organized well, is balanced, thoughtful, and informative. Great work!

Here's my review of your next article: Feminization of Poverty

again, super fascinating topic! I like that you are adding India to this article, it is a great improvement to the page!

Here's a few suggestions for the first paragraph:

The poverty that women experience in India is known as human poverty.(What do you mean by this? Can you cite it further?) This results from inadequate food, housing, education, healthcare, sanitation, poor developmental policies, and more. Poverty has been prevalent for many years, but there was a noticeable increase after globalization in 1991 when the IMF instilled a structural adjustment program (SAP) in order to give India a loan. (Can you add a citation here too?) This allowed large amounts of capital to flow into the country but also led to the exploitation of the Indian market. Women in particular were exploited for their cheap labor which reduced their opportunities for education and escape from the poverty trap. [3] The Indian Constitution has proclaimed that all citizens have equal rights, but this is not the case [1] Sex selective abortion is a wide practice in India in which males are selected for.(I would delete "for" at the end of this sentence) In order to get married, it is not abnormal to see the girl's family paying dowry to the male's family. All of this leads to more sex selective abortion, and less focus on female development.[4]

From the "Home Life" Section:

"Mothers work the hardest in the entire household. They sleep last and wake up first, and no matter their state (sick, pregnant, exhausted) they are expected to maintain this schedule."

We all sadly know this to be true, but the way you have phrased it doesn't sound neutral and it draws a conclusion without a source behind it. I totally agree with you, but I think the sentence may carry more weight if you change the wording slightly or add a citation.

From the "Education" section:

"A possible reason for this inequality is because families believe that men are more skilled to get a higher paying job. (can you add a source for this?) In many instances this inequality between male and female education leads to child marriage, teenage pregnancies, and a male dominated household. (I think you could argue that it leads to a male dominated society if you wanted) [3] There is evidence to suggest that educating girls results in reduced fertility, due to an urge to work and pursue higher social status. This also lessens the financial burden on families. [6] Instead of being taught math, teenage girls are taught how to care for their siblings and how to cook food.[1]"

Overall, I think this is great work: clear, informative, and a important contribution to this page. I would just take care to remain neutral (although its hard not to be passionate about such inequality!) I hope this review was useful, and please let me know if you have any question/comments! Thanks Anjali, great work!

Ariellibelly (talk) 18:31, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review (from Ahaana)
'''Area — Public health system in India '''

The organization of this section looks really great. You are covering a lot of ground and information. One section I really think would be beneficial would be something about the success/accomplishments of the system. You focus a lot on the logistics and the drawbacks but there is little insight on the proof of effectiveness/need for the system. Perhaps you can also include the need in the "Background" section? You might want to expand on why the 1946 Report insisted the importance of a public health system and what gaps it planned to fill. Later you can then detail whether those gaps were bridged?

Low quality care: "In fact, in a PHC in Delhi it was found that the doctor prescribed the wrong treatment method 50% of the time." -- in which hospital? add context maybe This paragraph is also a little partial in tone--consider rewording a little bit.

You have a lot of opportunities to link other Wikipedia articles in the content you have. Think about combing through your work and adding in the hyperlinks when applicable. For example, you could link the community health centers section to the general wiki article about CHCs.

Tone and formatting of the content you have written thus far looks great though. Overall, impartial for the most part and succinct. Great job!

 Sector — Feminization of Poverty

Again, the information you have here is great. It looks like you have found a lot of really important content and you have relayed them very well.

I think it may be worth including the women-led initiatives to overcome the sexist poverty that exists within India? Maybe look into the means by which these issues can be mitigated (this could hopefully lead to similar content for the other regions that are highlighted in the article)

The "Homelife" section that you've created appears to be a little bit partial. Maybe reword some of the content and add more citation/reference to corroborate your claims a bit more.

Overall, looks like you're headed in the right direction! I'm looking forward to seeing how learning these things will influence the work you do with the women you are working with for your PE! Ajs426 (talk) 20:41, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

Megan's Peer Review
Hi Anjali! Sorry this peer review is a bit late but here it is!

Overall, I think the organization is straightforward and clear. All the information is beneficial. However, I feel that the first paragraphs could be improved the most. When you introduce the article, you say that the reason the public health system is needed is due to the large number of deaths from all these diseases. When I read this I wonder if the deaths are caused by just a lack of sanitation, prevalence of disease in India, etc? There could be a number of factors causing these deaths. Perhaps you could cite the need for a public health system in India based more on a structural need - for example (I have no idea if this is true, I'm making it up): India only has previously used private health care which was not regulated and many accidents occurred which is why public health care infrastructure is needed. Do you sort of get what I mean? Like what would make a public health care system more efficient and effective than what's already in place? Also, perhaps this is too much to ask, but how did the British colonial influence lead to the establishing of the public health system in India today?

It's pretty amazing that you wrote pretty much this whole article yourself! It looks like you'll do pretty well with your edits. I hope my peer review is clear. If not, feel free to ask me on my talk page!Mgslee (talk) 01:07, 8 May 2018 (UTC)

Clare's copyediting suggestions for UBI-India drafting
A key concern is whether the universal basic income in India is financially feasible. Research indicates that in order to implement the UBI, existing welfare programs would have to be terminated to free up resources. [21] This raises questions especially about the Indian government's large programs such as the Food Subsidy or Public Distribution System (PDS) and the Mahatma Gandhi National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme (MGNREGS) [22]. Current social welfare schemes cost India about 3.7% of GDP, but UBI is expected to cost 4.9% of GDP [22].

Yet another concern is with the "work unconditionality" of the basic income proposal [22] by which the income is paid no matter a person's employment status. Some believe money should not be given to those who do not contribute to society through employment. Many fear these people would spend money on such items as alcohol, cigarettes, and other temptation goods. Another related prevailing fear is that a universal basic income will deter people from working or seeking work altogether [22]

Other options are being considered and proposed. One idea is to target certain populations instead of giving an income to the entire population. This idea is resisted by others for whom the universality is a fundamental and inviolable principle of the basic income [22]. Two options for a more targeted program have been aired: The first is an "opt out" system in which the wealthiest 25% of India are given the option of withdrawing. The names of those in the top 25% who choose to remain in the program would be published, as a shaming device [21]. The second option is to target specifically marginalized and vulnerable groups such as the disabled or widowed [21].

Ctalwalker (talk) 18:14, 3 May 2018 (UTC)