User talk:Akroshilina

Welcome!
Hello, Akroshilina, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:05, 31 May 2016 (UTC)

Feedback request
Hi Akroshilina. I got your ping, and I took a look at what you've been up to. Your sandbox draft is a good start, but it needs some work in terms of style.

When you say "useful features...include the following. First..." you're actually using a lot more words than you need, and that makes it harder to read. The key with encyclopedia writing is to get information across to the reader quickly. When you say "include the following" you add three words that add very little useful information to the sentence. Instead of that, you might want to try something more like:

If you do that, you produce text that's easier to read and that has less of a step-by-step narrative and more of a whole one. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:45, 1 June 2016 (UTC)

Looks good. Just make sure you include your source. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:13, 7 June 2016 (UTC)