User talk:Al the Minotaur/sandbox

Overall I think this is a great entry that could really help the Wikipedia page. I definitely think that it would be beneficial to add about how the aquarium was originally filled with local fish and people were not impressed with it (I emailed you an article I found that seems like it could have a lot of valuable information on that). In terms of conservation, I believe we had a speaker come to Camden from the Center for Aquatic Sciences at Adventure Aquarium and they educate people about animals and conservation. I believe that they are employed the aquarium, which could be talked about in your conservation section. I also think that you could help out the page and Wikipedia a lot by looking at the current page and cleaning it up. As we discussed, a lot of things are left uncited and I think that either finding sources for this information or getting rid of some things entirely would be a major help. The tone and citations in the sandbox seem perfect. TheEagle18 (talk) 15:49, 16 April 2019 (UTC)

Minotaur/sandbox
The tone and structure of your writing seems to match the Wikipedia style well. I agree that the beginning of the aquarium should be mentioned, as it started with only local fish and underwent quite a necessary transformation. I'll attach a story about recent renovations that have been completed.

https://www.philly.com/philly/news/new_jersey/penguin-exhibit-adventure-aquarium-camden-new-jersey-african-penguin-exhibit-upgrade-20180516.html — Preceding unsigned comment added by WWSP19 (talk • contribs) 12:33, 22 April 2019 (UTC)

You've got a lot of great material here, and it's generally well-sourced. As others have said, you get the style down, and I think the exhibits section is largely ready to go on Wikipedia's main space. The history section, in both content and style, feels a bit choppy and truncated. I recommend revisiting and expanding that section to connect the pieces. For example, there's not much sense of why the renovation happened. Don't be afraid to bring in more of the content from Camden After the Fall. Colbuendia71 (talk) 15:41, 26 April 2019 (UTC)

Everything looks ready to go. I really like the addition to the conservation section, since it seemed like that was their highest priority when we visited. When what we discussed, it seemed like you were going to add this stuff at various parts of the Wikipedia article rather than all together as one. I 100% agree with that. Overall, looks very well done and well cited. TheEagle18 (talk) 00:23, 1 May 2019 (UTC)

The content you have up is all very comprehensive and seems correct style-wise. One suggestion I have would be to consider trying to break up the first sentence in exhibit into multiple sentences, as it seems to drag on for a long time. It would also be interesting if you could find the season and episode that the Adventure Aquarium was featured on Cake Boss, as I think people who read it may be curious to watch it.

I concur with your other readers: this is well-sourced and seems largely ready to go. I will say that you should look at some sentence-level issues: I found some word errors like "cite" instead of "site" for example, so read carefully for that. Otherwise, if you need any help moving this onto mainspace, let me know. Colbuendia71 (talk) 18:33, 2 May 2019 (UTC)