User talk:Alenaley/sandbox

Comments
This is definitely an improvement, Alenaley. What would be helpful is if you added a larger heading "Alenaley Edits" in your shared sandbox. Then paste in the section from the article that you intend to edit, publish that, and then add your edits where you want them and publish again. With each edit, leave a comment about what you are doing. This way it is very easy to check the history and tell exactly how you envision your edits to be included in the article. Currently it is difficult to tell where it goes.

Also, you might want to think about editing this a bit further with evidence and neutrality in mind. Your opening lines of each paragraph, for example, are rather broad statements without substantiation. While many people would agree with you, you still should offer evidence. Watch out for general descriptors that are not so precise such as "heavily" or "good." What would be the criteria for deciding these? While in general this line is important: "It is finding a way to help individual students become more aware of their impact on others and to create a student that does well for themselves and others," this needs evidence and how does one "create" a student? This implies that the student has no interaction in this process. While you are not required to make these changes, doing so will increase the chances that your work makes it onto the page itself. --Jbdolphin (talk) 01:05, 18 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments
Nice ideas, Alenaley, but you need to draft the specific edits you intend to add based on your research here. Let me know when you get that up here.--Jbdolphin (talk) 05:26, 27 April 2021 (UTC)