User talk:Alesayiabdullah/sandbox

Hi guys, this is Abdullah and this is the talk page of my sandbox. Please chime in here regarding any peer edits that you have to the article that I'm working on in my sandbox. 76.19.130.9 (talk) 21:04, 31 October 2017 (UTC)

Hi Abdullah! My name is Ally and I just wanted to chime in a few thoughts on your Wikipedia article revisions. Firstly, I think CSR and ethics was a great choice for specificity and importance in the article you selected. I think you did a great job of prefacing your changes with a strong evaluation of the preexisting page and likely deficits in the current piece. One recommendation I have for maintaining tone and cohesion in this piece is being wary of colloquialisms like "not unheard of" embedded in your addition. I think you could work to further establish your point in the second paragraph. You're very noncommittal by saying "depending on the country" etc., but perhaps an example could even help here. I think the last two paragraphs can also be further analyzed, elaborating on measures of CSR, as well as divulging the "some evidence". Best of luck finishing your article! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Allyschulz16 (talk • contribs) 02:55, 27 November 2017 (UTC)