User talk:AlexAnderson97/sandbox

Peer Review
- I think that overall the section as it is is pretty good, it has good content that is cited well.

- Because you're giving an explanation on why Kiki has been called the sequel to Paris is Burning, I think you could explain ball culture a little more, maybe just a sentence or two about voguing and why it's so significant here. Voguing and the balls themselves are a major link between the two films and is something you mention both at the beginning and at the end of your paragraphs. If there is a possibility of including more about what it is and why it is so significant for these communities, I think that would really improve this section and the article itself (if you can find the information) - could link more words to wiki pages: activism, hormones, sex work, homophobic

- It would be good to use Halligan's full name and give a brief introduction to who they are and what exactly they do when you talk about their review of the film

- The wording in some places feels a little awkward: - the third sentence has some wording that feels a little redundant: "Both movies also follow these various queer and Transgender people of color as they traverse the drag and ball scenes in New York along with their daily lives[2]. The drag and ball scene are venues by which many queer and transgender people of color can find community as well as express themselves; a concept that is also prevalent in both Paris is Burning and Kiki[3]" - You only need to mention the comparison between the two movies once, you can cut the part with the semicolon out. At815913 (talk) 22:02, 22 April 2018 (UTC)

AlexAnderson97 (talk) 20:00, 23 April 2018 (UTC) I will fix the sentence structures and use the full names of the authors when using in-text citations. I will also fix the third sentence as well to make it less redundant as you suggested. Thanks for the feedback!!