User talk:Alexbattledust/1847 National Convention of Colored People and Their Friends

Peer Review: Your lead in is one long run on sentence. You should definitely break it up into different sentences, and maybe elaborate more on each topic in the individual sentences as well. Putting the convention participants section before convention issues might make more sense structurally. You also include content that would make more sense under convention issues in the convention participants section. You did a good job of maintaining a neutral tone. Your sources seem reliable as well. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout this article, so be sure to proofread it before you turn it in. Overall, you should definitely try to improve the organization of your article, and try to expand on underdeveloped topics like the trade deal with the Jamaicans. Mcdadee (talk) 18:40, 12 March 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review
- How could your peer improve the lead? Your lead is too long. Try to break it into a few sentences instead of just one long sentence. - Is the overall article structure clear? The overall structure is very well done. You gave an overview followed by a few key points. - Is there balanced coverage of the topic? Is the tone neutral? The coverage seems balanced and the tone is neutral. You have a good lead (after minor editing) and two decent paragraphs. - Are the sources reliable? The sources seem reliable. - What proofreading or writing suggestions do you have to improve the article? Fix the lead. Make it a couple of sentences. The first sentence of your Convention Issues is a fragment. Reword this to make a clearer sentence. Re-read your work. There are several words that do not belong and should be removed. In the Conventions Issues: The convention also voted on and established on (remove) a newspaper to publish about this and the (remove) any future conventions called the Liberator. In the Conventions Participants: Alexander Crummell and (remove or change to had) argued for the establishment of a college for black men to help avoid discrimination in colleges while several people including Fredrick Douglas and Henry Garnet argued against the self-enforced (add hyphen) segregation and that there was no need for the creation of the college. This sentence seems a little wordy. Maybe try to make two sentences. Also, the last sentence in Convention Participants seems off. Possible edit: Although Garnet was known for radical speeches, he did not make any during this convention. - What other things would you add or fix in the article? Read over your article and fix the grammatical errors as mentioned above. I would also try to expand upon the trade deal with the Jamaicans. You seem to go into more detail in the Convention Participants section that simply the participants. I would recommend renaming this section or moving some of the information to the Convention Issues section. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mpbreaugh (talk • contribs) 03:54, 13 March 2020 (UTC)