User talk:Alignad123/sandbox


 * I copied and pasted a paragraph from the HIV Wikipedia article and made some minor edits! I also added a false citation just to get practice --Alignad123 (talk) 20:22, 13 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi Astra,

Good start on your article so far. You have a really solid introduction to HIV and AIDS, their effects, and their significance. I don't have the context of the article you started with, but I think what you have is a good first section for after a lede paragraph. As the topic of your article is Treatment as prevention, that should be the primary initial focus, as opposed to starting with HIV and then introducing the concept of treatment as prevention. Your style and tone as a writer are neutral and balanced, which is wonderful and completely following the guidelines for the project. Going forward, make sure that you include citations everywhere necessary. I only see one source, so far, and although that's probably because it gives a good concise background of HIV, make sure that you get a wide cross section of medical articles, news articles, etc.

Please let me know if any of this doesn't make sense or if you have any questions. In the meantime, keep up the great work! Reblsa65 (talk) 16:44, 25 October 2018 (UTC)

You two have to pick up the pace

Hi Eden! Great job so far! Your article seems to be a real improvement on the original in terms of content, and my main comment is really just in terms of organization. Some of the sections you have are kind of long/dense, and it would probably make it easier to read/follow if you broke up the longer paragraphs, especially when you think about the context in which people view wikipedia articles. For example, in the implementation section you could add smaller subtitles to break up the section visually. Also I was personally interested in the section about drug resistance and the use of PrEP and I think it could be cool if you expanded on that section, but that's just my personal preference. Hivseminar (talk) 17:05, 30 October 2018 (UTC)