User talk:Alivia McAee/sandbox

In your additions to the mental rotation article, I really like how you are providing more research to further support claims made in the effect on athleticism and artistic ability section. With your first source, I would try to make it more clear what an "MR" task is because although somewhat stated in the first sentence it seems kind of confusing. Maybe you could try adding parentheses containing "MR" following the word to which "MR" refers. Also, eliminate the "a" before "non-body stimuli" in order to exercise more effective parallelism. In further regards to grammar in your first section, the last sentence utilizes both present and past tense with "suggest" and "were." Regarding your content from your first source, I think you did a really nice job making sure your sentences were short and to the point as well as making sure you sources were new and reliable. Regarding your second section, you again did a great job of condensing the information and making it straight to the point. In the first sentence of this section, I would grammatically add a comma after "In 2014" or eliminate that phrase all together in order to make your additions more relevant to wikipedia's style. I would also rephrase the "gymnasts and handball and soccer players" statement in order to more clearly define the experimental groups like "gymnasts, handball players, and soccer players." Overall, I think this section is very clear and informative. Your source for this section also seems new and reliable. For your third section, I think your information and its reliability are solid, but I am confused as to where the "as well" refers. You may have a specific statement in the article to which you are referring, but if not I think it could potentially be helpful to condense the first two sentences into one. Overall, this section seems to be very informative and reliable. The only changes I would make are condensing the sentences and maybe changing "were known" into a verb phrase that is more grounded in research-based discovery. In your fourth section, I think your structure is really strong and clear in communicating its purpose; however, since this is a wikipedia article I would eliminate "surprisingly" and try to condense the two result sentences into one. Maybe you could do something like: ";gymnasts(egocentric athletes) did not outperform orienteers(allocentric athletes)" at the end of your results sentence. Again, your source for this section seems recent and reliable. Overall, for all of your additions I think you did a really nice job of being concise, informative, and reliable. The most important changes that I think would improve your additions are mostly in the grammatical sector; however, I do think that it is very important to be more clearly informative as to what an "MR" task is in section 1 and to what you are referring in section 3. I really appreciated how well you tried to utilize short, wikipedia phrases, and I hope to apply your conciseness to my additions. Good job!Ashleyickes (talk) 14:24, 24 September 2016 (UTC)