User talk:Amarino789/sandbox

Seth's Peer Review
Your information started with a really good lead. You also do a nice job adding details, and explaining the two types of pavement. My only suggestion would be to separate the part about the Resilient Modulus.

Joe's Review
Greetings,

There is a lot of interesting information. And I am impressed with the number of sources you have found. I suggest breaking up the large paragraph you have written into multiple sections in order to make it easier to read. I would put the resilient modulus information into its own section, and I would put a greater emphasis on how it is important in regards to resilient asphalt, rather then what it is in general. Lastly, there are a lot of words such as " bituminous " that could be linked to another page on Wikipedia in order to help the reader understand the content even if they are unfamiliar with much of the terminology. I hope this is helpful to you.

Joeka555 (talk) 19:09, 2 December 2018 (UTC)

Joe
Thank you for the advice. I will add smaller sections with a contents page in order to make it easier to read and I will add link to words that may be difficult to understand.(Amarino789 (talk) 20:46, 2 December 2018 (UTC))

Seth
Thank you for your input. I will be sure to divide my information into sections in order to make it an easier read. (Amarino789 (talk) 20:44, 2 December 2018 (UTC))

MECH 2960 instructor review
I'm impressed, and learned a lot about resilient asphalt!

Here are some comments I have:
 * Many pages have a summary sentence or a few sentences prior to the contents box; you may wish to move some of your first paragraph to be up above the contents section?
 * In your first sentence, you say "Resilient asphalt, also referred to as asphalt concrete ...". But asphalt concrete, is that restricted to being another name for resilient asphalt? Or is it a subset of asphalt concrete? I think from the wikipedia page you linked to, it's a much larger group, and there's something distinct about resilient asphalt that makes it only a subset of asphalt concrete.  As such, I think you need to make the distinction that it's a specific kind of asphalt concrete
 * The second half of your first sentence is a restatement of what asphalt in general is, rather than mentioning what is special about this particular type of asphalt. I would encourage you to insert a definition of resilient asphalt rather than just asphalt in general
 * For the sentence "The resilient properties of this asphalt under many different conditions such as moisture or changes in temperature is where its name originates from" I think can be re-written to say "The name of resilient asphalt originates from its resiliency to many different environmental conditions, such as moisture or temperature changes."
 * The sentence for the use cases (world's fair, etc.) could be shifted down to be the last sentence of that section (so you don't break up the flow about what resilient asphalt is)
 * In your section on "Flexible and Rigid Pavement", it's important to talk about the flexible side, because that's the classification that resilient asphalt goes under. But the rigid side, I don't think it's very important to include all that information -- it belongs elsewhere on wikipedia, you could just have a link to where that info is when you have the sentence on "There are two primary types of pavement" ...
 * You may want to move your "There are two primary types of pavement -- flexible and rigid." to become the first sentence of the section on "Flexible and Rigid Pavement"
 * You may wish to change the title of the "Flexible and Rigid Pavement" section to just be about flexible pavement, since that's the focus of your article
 * For the resilient modulus, is the Mr supposed to have the r as a subscript? If so, please find out how to use subscripts on wikipedia (right now it reads more as Mister (the title) rather than modulus)
 * As a reader, I do not know why the resilient modulus is important for me to know. Does resilient asphalt have a high resilient modulus?  Or a low one?  It might be important to have the first sentence of that section be something like "Resilient asphalt has a significantly higher/lower resilient modulus than typical asphalt concrete." or something like that.

I'm looking forward to the edits and presentation! UML MECH2960 (talk) 14:17, 8 December 2018 (UTC)

MECH 2960 Instructor Review #2
Looks great. Here are my final comments before you transition to live wikipedia:
 * Your intro paragraph now feels fairly long. Overall, the goal is to not define too many things in the intro, but rather say what are important things and leave the details to the following sections.  Some of the stuff about resilient modulus (for instance the sentence defining it) can just come in the paragraph about that, and maybe the definition of asphalt could also just be left to a definition at the linked site.
 * You kept the rigid pavement paragraph in your article ... still don't know if it's necessary to have that here? Maybe it's only important to talk about the flexible pavement (which you do in the first paragraph of that section)?
 * I like the resilient modulus section. I think it can go live as written, I would just say if you happen to have a value of the Mr for flexible versus traditional materials, it'd be nice to be able to cite those values (as rough ballpark figures).

I think that's all I have now! UML MECH2960 (talk) 22:54, 11 December 2018 (UTC)