User talk:Ambnicol010/sandbox

Peer Review 1
A few common themes I noticed throughout the article:


 * 1) Usage of biased language
 * 2) Content written in passive voice
 * 3) Long, wordy paragraphs
 * 4) Repeated content

I have left comments on the shared Google doc showing exactly where I saw those themes occurring.

For our Peer Review you asked us to focus specifically on the order of the content, and I have a few reorganization suggestions.


 * Under the heading "Models of Service-Learning"
 * - I would consider moving National Youth Council, Youth Service California and Florida Department of Ed. into another section. To me that content read more like evaluation guidelines, rather than an explanation of a model of SL.


 * Critiques before Lists
 * - I suggest moving the Critiques section before the lists of Supporting Programs and Notable People. In it's current order, I wonder how many folks will navigate away to one of the links before getting a chance to read the critiques section

Overall I think with some paring down, and a few language tweaks, that the article will be very strong. Great work so far!!

Dsmith80 (talk) 21:22, 9 March 2015 (UTC)

Sara's Peer Review: Basic comments:
 * 1) Some general use of biased language (lots of shoulds, and musts)
 * 2) Several quotes that were not properly linked to the wiki references
 * 3) Inconsistent capitalization - the intro says "Service-Learning" and later it says "Service-learning"
 * 4) In the intro it says "S-L" without a previous reference to that abbreviation
 * 5) The section that reviews the different emphases on service and/or learning is a huge chunk that is pulled from somewhere else, not paraphrased or anything. These longer quotes happen a couple times through the wiki page.
 * 6) Since you mainly focused on rearranging an existing page, I cannot give specific feedback on the three new paragraphs, new figure or table, or 6 references you would have added.

Since you mentioned wanting a strong introduction to the page, I left more content suggestions on the shared google doc. I highlight a few areas where I have questions about language, and some capitalization that changes throughout. Great work! That's a huge page to take on!

"Saramorganrose (talk) 00:10, 10 March 2015 (UTC)"