User talk:Amsinger/sandbox

Comments
I'm an online ambassador for your WMST 250: Women, Art, and Culture (2014 Q3) class and have just stopped by to provide a quick review and add what I hope will be helpful comments.

This is quite an amazing story of a very strong girl and woman. Great job pulling this together! It's well-organized in sections and there are sources for the article content.

Some suggestions are:
 * Titles of plays, songs, etc. should be in italics
 * Regarding "Her father occupied a lot of debt through extravagant spending" (I changed Mr. Kelly to her father because her uncle is also Mr. Kelly) - I'm not sure what "occupied a lot of debt" means - that's new to me. Do you mean he acquired debt, became heavily in debt? - or perhaps this is just a use of occupied that I've not heard of before.
 * Her father left the family - and then "Fanny continued to support him financially until his death on April 4, 1833" is a segue needed? When did she begin to support him?
 * I'm generally confused about the info about her uncle - she worked with him "in later years" but then started working at the age of 7 in his opera.
 * In terms of capitalization of a family member's relationship, it would be Uncle Michael Kelly or her uncle, Michael Kelly. Since it was just a couple of sentences ago that it was mentioned that she worked with him, I don't think you need to restate the relationship - Michael Kelly should suffice in the sentence with "in her Uncle, Michael Kelly’s, opera Bluebeard."
 * Should the in "the Royalty" be capitalized?
 * There is some wording that could be tightened a little, if you wished: "passed away" to died -- or "fell in the lap of" or "when a fire struck the theatre" that could make the situation and outcome a little clearer. You may want to check out Janise Yntema or Enella Benedict for tone.

Most of these are just a bit of formatting and fine-tuning - overall, you've done a good job. I'll be watching this page and your sandbox page for any updates. You can also "ping" me (just type "" as you see it) to your message on this page or leave a message on my talk page. Happy editing!-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 02:18, 2 November 2014 (UTC)

Reference setup
To have the references work correctly, add the following with no leading spaces (I just did that for presentation here) after your last section: == References ==

And you need to add the refname tags with a slash (e.g., where they are applicable in the body of your article.-- CaroleHenson   ( talk ) 01:33, 2 November 2014 (UTC)