User talk:Andrewkuo17/sandbox

I plan on adding details on each of the different environmental standards. I will also add a little preface of it to give an overview. The current lead on the article is sufficient and the sources are reliable so that will remain untouched. I will separate the Types of Environmental Standards into three subcategories: Ambient, Emission, and Technology. They will be delineated with bold so that it is easier to see. I plan on using sources from the JSTOR database sine they are all reputable and relying on other sources only when needed. I will hyperlink some of the more complex concepts to other Wikis in order to keep my article focused. User: WRobertson ~You provide a good definition of environmental standards, but is this a legal definition? Is it from a dictionary? Are you defining it based upon how states normally act? Is this bound to the US or international? I think this can be clarified with a citation. ~"Progressiveness" is vague (Types of Environmental Standards, line 3) ~Did some minor copy editting ~You defined environmental standards in terms of air standards only, consider broadening the definition, bringing in a legal definition in the US, etc, or providing a citation. I think you should clarify in the section headers that you are discussing air pollution. ~ Very good citations and meaty article details ~ Deleted "The EPA have restrictions and regulations on vehicles not only to protect the environment but also to benefit families financially" because it's not clear from the article that this is in the EPA's mandate or that the EPA makes decisions based on this. If this is the case, please be more specific or provide a citation. ~ "The standards set are established in two phases to stay up to date, with final projections aiming to collectively save Americans $1.7 trillion in fuel costs and reduce the amount of greenhouse gas emissions (GHG) by 6 billion metric tons." These are two different sentences that don't quite fit together in one sentence. If you want to discuss financial/economic impacts of air pollution, that should probably be in its own section, but slipping it in here without a full discussion of the topic is biased. Also, whose projections? Over what timeline? Very skeptical of these numbers. ~ Replaced "on an industrial level, especially for one that produce electrity." with "by heavy industry and for electricity" to clarify what I think you mean. — Preceding unsigned comment added by WRobertson (talk • contribs) 02:24, 23 November 2017 (UTC)

User: nmohnatkin

Hey Andrew,

I think the definition of environmental standard is accurate and fitting. I'd recommend you add a source to your lead definition.

I think you should introduce the main types of environmental standards in the lead. This would better outline the rest of your article. The last sentence of your lead could be: "The three main types of environmental standards are ambient, emission, and technology."

"Technological standards are put in place to to encourage progressiveness across different industries." I would use the word "innovation" rather than progressiveness. This excerpt from underneath the heading also has an extra "to" in it.

"Emission standards are national regulations, managed by the EPA, that control the amount of pollutants can be released into atmosphere." I would add a "that" before the "can."

There are a few run-on sentences in the Emission Standards sections that can be broken up to sound more smooth.

"The EPA have restrictions and regulations on vehicles..." Change "have" to "has."

Under Technology Standards, "do not necessarily enforce the usage of specific technologies" seems to be unnecessary information that could portray opinion rather than fact.

I would expand more on the data collection sentence ("Furthermore, these regulations allows..."). Maybe answers, "How do these regulations allow data collection to be more precise?" I would also make this phrase, "allowing for the standards set based off those information to be feasible." into a new sentence. The information you're trying to portray comes off as confusing because of the dependent clause word structure of the phrase.

You may have to put everything you wrote under a "Examples in the USA" heading as each of the main standards only discuss the USA, EPA, etc. You may also want to add if environmental standards differ internationally, maybe what the United Nations is doing, etc.

Best,

Nicholas Mohnatkin — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nmohnatkin (talk • contribs) 07:03, 23 November 2017 (UTC)