User talk:AngelaEJimenezP/sandbox

Hi Angela, Nice work on this wikipedia assignment! You caught onto the tone of your article quite perceptively in your evaluation. Can you link your article selections to their original wikipedia pages so I can view them? Thanks, -Momo Sumomox4nouchi (talk) 00:49, 8 February 2019 (UTC)sumomox4nouchi

Emilie's Peer Review
Hi! Great work on your Wiki.

An original thought I had when looking over your page was that some sections don't have the "Area" and "Sector" subcategories. Without them it does get a bit confusing on what topic you are trying to talk about/address.

In the sentence, "Some civil aid organizations even accept private donations and grants if they refuse LSC funding", the "even" seems a bit suggestive. Taking "even" out may be beneficial. I would also make sure everything is cited and has references as the second half of your drafting doesn't have as many as the first half.

You've put a lot of effort into this and it shows! Not too many things I noticed that struck out that needed fixing. Only thing is to make everything more clear so readers can follow better.

Emilieyoungs (talk) 11:17, 4 April 2019 (UTC)Emilieyoungs

Queenie's peer review
Hello Angela,

First I want to applaud you with the work you have done so far and from the length of your drafting section it seems you really thought about your Area and Sector. I do want to know for clarification which one is your Area and Sector articles as they were not given a proper heading or sub heading.

For the sentence, "Other forms of civil legal aid are available through federally funded legal services, pro bono lawyers, and private volunteers". I see that you put down specific orgs around the East Bay community that supports your claim. I consider this beneficial to whoever reads this wiki article, since it will inform them where they can get free legal aid.

''Although public defenders are required to be provided at the trial level, free attorney services for appeals and appeals court are often not available. Funding for criminal aid come from both U.S. States and the U.S. federal government. [15]''         - For this sentence I thought that it jumped to a new idea on the second sentence a bit too early, maybe you could expand the first sentence a little more which will in turn connect the second sentence better.

Organizations that receive LSC funding cannot take funding from non LSC sources to pursue legislative efforts that contradict LSC regulations. In addition to lobbying and class actions, LSC organizations cannot purse abortion related litigation and cannot advance certain state or federal welfare challenges. LSC organizations are not able to conduct workshops related to political activities and advocacy as well. -I'm presuming that when you were talking about abortion the word you wanted to say was pursue rather than purse. In these 3 sentences you have said the name of the org in each of them, it's best if you just say the name of the org once and try to connect what it can and cannot offer in a more concise way.

Public interest practice emerged from the goal of promoting access to equal justice for the poor and this was inspired from the legal services disparity amongst European immigrants. -Might I know where you got this information from? I found this an interesting sentence you have put down.

Over the last two decades, civil legal aid services have shown to save the homes of more than 6000 tenants in New York according to the 1996 study by the Association of the Bar of the City of New York. -You need to put where you got this information from, it sounds kind of bias and I don't know if this actually true or not. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Queenbook2021 (talk • contribs) 20:21, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Responding to Peer Review
I think the feedback I got from both of my peer reviewers were really helpful. Both commented on the same thing where I need to make it clear which are sector and area edits. I will reorganize/restructure my drafting section by adding "Area" and "Sector" and my perspective edits under each. I will also add the citations to the drafted sentences I have not yet added them for. I think I just forgot to because I was in a rush of meeting the deadline, but I do have them. Also I will reword my sentences and edit them according to Queenie's feedback. — Preceding unsigned comment added by AngelaEJimenezP (talk • contribs) 19:37, 11 April 2019 (UTC)