User talk:Angelita Cecilia/Indonesian comedy

Preliminary Review from Kaylea
Hi, I'm starting to walk through articles and give everyone informal early feedback on how they're doing. You'll notice this is a little bit form-letter-ish but I hope it is still helpful.

My general take right now is that you're making good progress on this article, so please keep working. Be sure to incorporate feedback from the peer review. You might find it helpful to apply the peer review guide to your own article as you think about where to go next.

It looks like you have made your changes live on Wikipedia. The assignment is to make your changes here in the sandbox so that we can help you to follow Wikipedia policies before the changes go live to the world. Please go ahead and use this sandbox page to make your changes from here on out.

One thing I am noticing with this article is that you are starting to include details that are outside the scope of your specific topic -- make sure each section of your article is focused directly on your topic. You can always link to other topics in Wikipedia; when people come to this article, what they want most is information on Indonesian comedy. That said, you have done a very nice job expanding this article. Keep going!

Kaylea Champion (talk) 07:33, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

feedback on progress
Hi

I think you really can just cut the section on Greek comedy. You can call the next section something like "History of Comedy in Indonesia". We also need some sense of why these films are important to include in the page -- have they won the most awards, had the most viewers, made the most money? Otherwise the selection of what appears here is just an opinion -- great for a blog but can't be done on Wikipedia. I know you're working on this -- keep going.

Kaylea Champion (talk) 05:11, 12 February 2022 (UTC)

feedback on progress
Hi

I think the section on 'best' films still has some issues. Take a look at this example:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedy_in_the_Philippines

The article has a history section, like yours -- and if there's more details that can be added, great. Specific films show up as examples in a paragraph about modern films, especially if they are films that have their own wikipedia page already.

Here's an article that's just a list of films:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Indonesian_films

And none of these have plot summaries of individual films until you look at the page that's just for the film.

I suggest:


 * 1) turn your list of films into a paragraph. Call it 'Contemporary Indonesian Comedy'. Make note of the comedy films that are in the List article. Do you have a reference that talks about this topic in general that you can build from? This new paragraph could be like the one in the Philippines article, describing contemporary Indonesian comedy films in general, with these as prominent examples.
 * 2) re-add some details that went missing from your version -- stage, television, film, and newspaper all had their own sections in the original article. Maybe those tiny sections can be extended by a sentence or two?

You're making progress, this is a little bit of a difficult topic because it's very broad.

Kaylea Champion (talk) 19:12, 13 February 2022 (UTC)