User talk:Annaanelson3/sandbox

Resources
ResourcesAnnaanelson3 (talk) 16:37, 31 January 2019 (UTC)


 * Use only this sandbox and not the "newsandbox" page. That way all your edits will be in one place. dddonald (talk) 14:14, 12 February 2019 (UTC)

Caroline's Peer Review
Hey Anna,

The very first thing I noticed is that you made great use of embedded links in your draft. Your lead section is good and concise. There is a grammar issue at the end of the last sentence under the History header. In the first line under the Civil War Header you may want to explain that Liberty was the name of the town at the time because the reader may confuse that with Liberty Hall. Also for clarification, you may want to include under that header that William Read was the owner of the home when those officers stayed there, as that paragraph mentions many names. Repeating what you mentioned in the Lead - that Robert Alexander owned the home - would be a helpful reminder before going into a history of him. The line " Alexander became the first clerk of court in Bedford County." should be taken out from under the Building/Property header because it is a repeat and not needing under this header. There's some rewording in the last section that is needed but other than that I think you've done a good job at gathering information and you've definitely added quite a bit to this page. You've also got some good sources. You've divided the history up well and have maintained neutral content. Overall I think you did a really great job! Caroline Liberty (talk) 04:31, 21 February 2019 (UTC)

Elaina's Peer Review
Hey Anna, Overall your article is organized very well. Your use of embedded links are nicely done, they will be helpful for readers that are not familiar with what you are talking about. I would just say some sentences could be revised because they are hard to follow or do not flow as well as they could. There were a few of these sentences in the lead and the history sections. You have a lot of great content! Good job on finding good information! Eoddle (talk) 11:31, 21 February 2019 (UTC)

Instructor feedback on article draft
Below are my thoughts and suggestions while reading your article. You have some very good work here. In addition to the below, you'll want to work on polishing the writing and checking for proofreading errors.

Great use of sections. You'll want to take out "about" when you move it to the mainspace. The first paragraph will not have a title.

In the lead, clarify whether this was one of the few Federal style homes every built or still standing. For the rest of the information, try to give a brief overview and save the details for later. Your reader does not automatically know who General Hunter is or why you are mentioning Robert Alexander. Since there is not much space for that in the lead, it might best be left for a later section.

Who is William Callaway? Clarify which part of the land belongs to Liberty Hall.

It is not clear why Hunter was headed to Liberty. You might also clarify that this was the county seat of Bedford County at the time. Was William Read a Union sympathizer? Why would he invite Hunter into his home?

Say who Robert Alexander is at the beginning of that section. Clarify his connection to Liberty Hall. Reconsider whether to include information about him that is unrelated to Liberty Hall.

You have identified some great historical context for the house! Good job!

Since the page is about the house, I recommend you open with the architectural description and then follow that with the history. You might also consider weaving the history into the architectural description, especially if you have information about when changes were made to the house. Consider adding more detail from the nomination form to give a better sense of how the house is designed and constructed.

Read the whole piece at once so you can identify repeated information. Some repetition between the lead and the article is to be expected, but other repetition should be eliminated.

You will also want to add more sources. Consider a history of Bedford County or look for the Daisy Read history of New London. Also, there is a substantive history of New London Academy by James Siddons on reserve in our library.

Continue to work on formatting your references to fit Wikipedia guidelines before moving your article to the mainspace.

Overall, nice work! dddonald (talk) 20:15, 26 February 2019 (UTC)