User talk:Araney1/Languages of Chile

Hi Angie, I think this looks like a good preliminary translation. Once you revise your work based on the peer review, you should concentrate on how to integrate this content into the existing English article, as we'll discuss in next week's workshop. Bradhoot (talk) 21:06, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Comments on second draft
Good work on your draft article! Here are some comments to help you revise as you prepare to publish your work by integrating it with the existing English article.


 * Good job getting the right English-language links for the different languages
 * Good job including the original citations.
 * I'd recommend re-reading the opening paragraphs with an eye toward making sure it's idiomatic English. There are some phrasings there that read as translation-ese.
 * In the indigenous languages section, what does 1982 refer to in the Mapuche section? And what does 2000 refer to for Rapa Nui?
 * Indigenous Languages in route of Extinction – should this be “on their way to?” Or just “moribund languages”? “in route of” doesn’t strike me as English.
 * The “Yaghan” entry isn’t idiomatic in English (and I don’t quite know what it’s trying to say)
 * For Chono, what does “It is conserved in one registry” mean?
 * In Phylogenetic classification, is “proven” the right word? Maybe “attested”?
 * In the table, for Aymara, it says: “A demographic and historically uncovered language”  What does that mean?
 * Indigenous languages spoken by communities or immigrants – what does this mean? They can’t be indigenous languages if they’re spoken by immigrants, right? Maybe this needs to be separated into two sections? Think also about how you’ll add this into the main English article and where it will fit.
 * References: Titles in Spanish can stay in Spanish, but relevant text should be in English where possible, such as when the original source is in English (like Ethnologue) or for things like the date that the reference was consulted.
 * External links: these shouldn’t duplicate the references.

In addition to these changes and the ones I made directly, in our workshop, you should be prepared to think about how you’re going to incorporate your work into the existing article. Where is each piece going to go? How will you integrate things so that you’re not duplicating existing material? Where will you replace existing material with your new material? How might you need to alter your translation to fit in the existing context, including some possible re-writing?

Bradhoot (talk) 19:08, 5 November 2021 (UTC)

Hi Angie! Sorry about the late response, I accidentally peer reviewed someone else's article. I think your article looks great! The charts are extremely well organized and make the information presented easily accessible and the lists are easily distinguishable from the rest of the article because of the bold font. Your sources look good and the presentation is organized and totally informational. The main thing that I think could be edited is the couple of run on sentences that I noticed. For example, the first sentence "Spanish is the official, administrative language of Chile, where it also receives the title of "castellano," spoken by 99.3% of the population in the known form of Chilean Spanish, as well as in Andean Spanish and Chilean Catalan" could be split into two sentences by adding a period after "castellano" and starting the next sentence with "This language is spoken by...", etc. I think it could really improve the flow of the article. However, your article is great and very easy to read, as well as informational with solid references. Daisyhelmuth (talk) 20:51, 8 November 2021 (UTC)Daisy H