User talk:Arberne/sandbox

Please feel free to read my section, as I have read yours and edit it if you think something could be changed. So far I think the page looks good, feedback from the TA's will help. I have a question as well, CSU's diversity bill which was passed last year is an interesting piece in which it gives a ASCSU Senator and assistant Senator positions to nine of the diversity offices here on campus for the first time so equal representation is shown. Can I use the google doc that is actually the piece of legislation for a resource?? Feel free to comment back because I think this talk page could be useful.

Thanks, have a good weekend! Kdhazel (talk) 21:00, 12 October 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback! I was not aware of this bill. I will look into it and see if it would be a good piece to add. Thanks so much! Arberne (talk) 01:12, 7 November 2016 (UTC)

I just checked our article and our group member Matt does have a sentence about the ASCSU senator and assistant senator positions. Thanks for the info though! Arberne (talk) 01:24, 7 November 2016 (UTC)

Great Job!
Hey there my name is Kendrick, I'm from group 20 and I believe your article is very informational and very well organized. Keep up with the amazing work you guys are putting out, this article looks like it were done by a professional graduate. — Preceding unsigned comment added by KendrickLorSoc205 (talk • contribs) 21:18, 12 October 2016 (UTC)

Thanks you for the feedback Kendrick! Arberne (talk) 01:09, 7 November 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback Kendrick! Csm13 (talk) 12:17, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for your time Kendrick! Kdhazel

Thanks for the positive feedback Kendrick. Mmrkacek (talk) 12:41, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

Hey, my name is Saira from group 20. I love the fact that you guys chose to talk about a cultural office at CSU, since I myself am part of El Centro. Your article has a lot of information, and you can tell you really spent a lot of time researching. One thing I believe could improve your article is including more information about the BAACC office before the detailed timeline. Perhaps, placing the mission statement before the information in the timeline would help readers know what they're reading better, and why it's relevant. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sach362 (talk • contribs) 02:33, 13 October 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback Saira! I have added an introduction paragraph before the timeline. Thanks for pointing that out! Arberne (talk) 01:09, 7 November 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback Saira! Csm13 (talk) 12:18, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for your time Saira! Kdhazel

Thank you Saira, Ian pointed this out as well and we hope to have made the correct adjustments. Mmrkacek (talk) 12:41, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

Good evening Group 19! My name is Taylor, from reading your wikipedia page it looks amazing! You guys provided a lot of information and went into depth in a lot of areas. I checked your sources and they all looked credible. As for the google docs source you are wanting to use, I do not see why not as it would be a great resource. I would double check with Lori or your assigned TA just in case though. The organization of your page flows very well together. As far as improvements, if you are able to you could maybe add a little more to the sections of "Greek-Lettered Organizations" and "The Griot". You could also add some pictures as well, although I noticed that there are multiple people involved with this. But the picture could be of the bill or the organization, etc. The last thing I could think of is just some grammatical changes such as the use of your commas but other than that, your wikipedia entry is very well written and keep up the good work. If I can think of anything else I will make sure to let you know! And a big thanks for editing our draft as well! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Thofmann02 (talk • contribs) 22:13, 13 October 2016 (UTC)

Hello Taylor! I appreciate the feedback. We have decided to use another image since the original does not seem to show up. As far as the commas, I will look through and edit. Thank you for bringing up the needed content for those two sections, I will see what I can add. Great feedback!Arberne (talk) 01:09, 7 November 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback Taylor! Csm13 (talk) 12:19, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for your time Taylor! Kdhazel

Thank you for the insight on the greek lettered and griot sections. I was difficult to create anything original or non persuasive in these sections and much of the info for the greek letters section can be found in the wiki links provided. I am hoping we can add an image but my efforts haven't been successful thus far. Mmrkacek (talk) 12:58, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

Feedback
Creating free-standing articles about campus offices is challenging - it's often better to include the information as a section of the article about the university. This one looks notable though, but you haven't provided the kinds of supporting sources that would demonstrate notability. You need high quality sources that are independent of the source, so you should steer clear or anything from colostate.edu. The Rocky Mountain Collegian may be independent, bit it isn't a prominent enough source to help demonstrate notability. You need to look for high-quality sources, preferably scholarly sources, that discuss this office. Failing that, national or regional news articles about the office (i.e., ones that do more than simply mention it in passing) are needed.

Beyond that, you need inline references. You need links to other articles, so that readers can learn more about terms they might be unfamiliar with. Some of your paragraphs are too long. You also need a lead sections. Please see pages 7-9 of the Editing Wikipedia brochure. You should have received a hard copy from your instructor, but just in case, I have linked to it above. (If you reply to this message here, please include  in your response, to ensure that I see your reply.) Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:23, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback Ian! I have added a short lead section that we will continue to work on. Thank you for bringing the source issues to our attention. We have had continuing issues finding sources that are independent from the university. Most of our information is from the CSU website but we do also have other sources. But judging on what you have said, we need to find better ones. Would you have any advice for finding these independent sources? I know this is a lot to ask but we have all spent a lot of time researching and do not know where else to turn. Thanks again for all the feedback! Arberne (talk) 01:21, 7 November 2016 (UTC)