User talk:Ard Le Roux/sandbox

Excellent, thorough work here, Jay, with lots of thoughtful suggestions for potential improvements to this article.

I agree that development is needed in order to help the concise overview more adequately reflect the contents of the article. I agree that more details about her early life, properly referenced, with the best available dates, would also be an improvement. However, I think there is some good material here as a starting point, and would recommend editing and expanding it as opposed to scrapping it and starting over.

In terms of the Career section, where the article veers towards the academic debates around Philips’ sexuality, I’m going to ask Shalor to weigh in with some advice on how to present pertinent academic debates while also remaining neutral.

The section on influences certainly needs proper referencing, as well as more research, including on her influence on Keats.

Overall, I agree that much more of the considerable scholarship on Philips could be incorporated here to give readers a richer sense of her life, her work, and her contribution to English language literature and Irish politics.

I like the idea of a section on her works. Perhaps examining A-class articles on other writers might help to provide a template for what this would look like.

While many of the further reading sources look very good, you correctly identify the need to integrate the information in them into the article through expanded text and adequate referencing.

EmerOToole (talk) 16:55, 3 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi

Just a note to say that feedback will be forthcoming from Patrick Quinn soon, who has kindly agreed to step in as your peer reviewer.

I also suggest that you consider the balance you need to strike between introducing readers to The Abbey's founders and avoiding repetition of material that belongs on an individual's own page.

Tiny notes: Not all of The Abbey founders were Republicans, even while they were all nationalists. It's JM Synge.

Very much looking forward to seeing this develop in dialogue with the new sources you are using!EmerOToole (talk) 17:46, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

CONTENT
What needs to be improved: I’m not sure if talking about the founders of the Abbey Theatre is accepted as a Wikipedia standard. This is in reason to the fact that they have their own Wikipedia pages. Maybe we can talk to Shalur? As well, there is already mention of Horniman and Gregory. I would add relevant information to those sections. Also, check the spelling and grammar.

Concerning the Lead: I’m not sure if this “recieved the property that would become the National Theater of Ireland.” Belongs here. Maybe it belongs in Origins? Finally, the founders are mentioned twice (1 at the start of the lead paragraph and 1 at the end). Maybe there is a way to condense it?

What was well done: Content is relevant to the article. Content adds to the article. I think there needs to be a bit more information on Gregory and Horniman, and that is something this does.

TONE
What needs to be improved: The ways things are worded needs to be worked on. Firstly, it feels like you’re trying to prove something e.g “she herself realizes” or “the real force behind”. Secondly, try to use the past tense. Also, I wouldn’t call the Abbey Theatre nationalist. It was for a time period, however it isn’t now. It’s not a neutral word. What was well done: Writing mostly uses neutral words. Doesn’t attempt to be biased. The tone attempts to explain.

EVALUATING SOURCES
What needs to be improved: I did not see any sources cited and I do not know where some information came from. Were sources used? Which ones? Did i miss them?

What was well done: Formatting was well done.

PatrickDQuinn1 (talk)

Nice job on this feedback,

- it looks like you have a strong plan for moving forward. Looking forward to seeing what you draft in response to this. Remember that I will be issuing a grade on response to PR feedback (i.e. - re-drafting something) next week.EmerOToole (talk) 14:45, 1 November 2018 (UTC)

Hi

Just a note to remind you to start working the feedback above into the material in your sandbox. Remember that this is a graded part of the assignment. Please finish it by the end of the week, as it is significantly overdue. Failure to do so will affect your grade.

Hi

Congratulations on moving your work to the site. You will receive a grade soon.