User talk:Aruyf/sandbox

Peer Review
You write very well. I was a bit confused when I started reading the article because I was not quite sure what your topic was about and how the painting related to it. I understood it more as the topic had to do with the painting or even cows and their milk rather than cheese-making. I feel that you should highlight something in the first paragraph that specifies that you are talking about cheesemaking. Maybe if I had read a bit more information, like the beginning of your paper, before this it would have made more sense to me. I do think that you should keep this section I just think that there needs to be something to kind of introduce it to show how it is relevant to cheesemaking. Your second section labeled "Ancient Cheesemaking" was solid. The only thing I would change in this section would be the sentence that talks about breeding goats over sheep. I feel that you should have talked about breeding goats over cows because you had previously mentioned cows previously in the paragraph and then just jumped to sheep, like forgetting about the cows. Your article is neutral and I believe that each point is evenly represented. Like I mentioned earlier the only thing missing was some way of identifying how the fresco can be introduced as a a piece of art depicting cheesemaking. I believe that all of the citations work. They showed up when I clicked on them in the article, but I don't know if we were supposed to click them in the reference page and it take us to the source directly, (I doubt it). AFowler004 (talk) 02:56, 22 May 2019 (UTC)AFowler004