User talk:Asaltermack/sandbox

Hey! I just copy-pasted into your sandbox. Since previous versions are saved I figured I might as well post this newest version so you don't have to go searching to my sandbox.

I think the first 2 or 3 sentences of our first paragraph could be improved now that we have the rest written. I think they could be general sentences that introduce our topic. Possibly even take the first sentence from the 2nd paragraph and put it at the very beginning.

Also, i was looking at other articles, and they don't cite as crazily as we did,,,haha. Stuff that is more general can probably go without citations, so I don't think anymore need to be added. And the first 2 or 3 sentences could be without citations if we are going to make those into general intro sentences.

make changes as you see fit :)

Chelbel05 (talk) 10:18, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

long road
so... why does it look like our paragraphs are way longer when they are in word docs?? haha,it looks so small on the wikipedia page! you can't even tell how crazy long it took us to do all that.... we have a long road ahead of us for creating this entire page, but im excited for the end result!

love
yes, I'm gonna hit up your sandbox discussion page...because my residents are gone and i don't know what to do....!!!!!!!! why aren't you in my room right now? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Chelbel05 (talk • contribs) 07:00, 21 October 2011 (UTC)