User talk:Ashton01/sandbox

There are a few wording choices i would change, for instance i would change, "in particular" to particularly. Drop "context of" and just leave in. There needs to be a comma after Thailand. Due to the fact is wordy so just put because or since, and cut straight to what you're saying. After sexuality put a comma and after media. Other then that fantastic work!--Mckenzie324 (talk) 17:27, 11 March 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
There weren't many mistakes made that I noticed. The only things I would fix would be changing the quotations ...music, and, "teen magazines," tend... also add a comma after Thailand. Other than those small errors you did very well. Good job!Alyssab2473 (talk) 17:04, 12 March 2019 (UTC)

In the very last sentence, it felt very wordy and maybe should be broken up. Also there need to be a comma after Thailand. Otherwise, this seems like very good information.--Zanthos434 (talk) 23:14, 12 March 2019 (UTC)

Draft Feedback
You've gathered a lot of interesting information, Ashton. I think it will need some revising and editing before it's ready for the mainspace, though. I think you're planning to add a new section to the main lifestyle article, and you've got enough here to do that. Just work on wording and grammar so that when you upload, it's both informative and accurate.JAirhart 21:08, 12 March 2019 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Airhartcomp (talk • contribs)