User talk:AstoriaZ/sandbox

Big Bang evaluation
Detailed information but still lacking some important information. For example, it is important to emphasis at the beginning that G-Dragon is the leader of this band. Also, the article uses some words like "the most" but is cited from news and websites.AstoriaZ (talk) 03:13, 11 January 2019 (UTC)


 * Hi AstoriaZ, I have some comments about your article evaluation.
 * You wrote your evaluation on your user talk page. This is OK, but it is an unusual use of a user talk page. User talk pages are typically used for interpersonal communication and general chat between Wikipedians that isn't directly related to collaboration on an article.  You might want to move this evaluation to  your sandbox.
 * What article are you evaluating?
 * Did you check the talk page?
 * Did you check that the links in the sources worked?
 * It sounds like you observed some issues with the completeness of the content and with neutral point of view. Did you consider making any changes of your own to adress this? Why or why not?  Why do you think no other editors have fixed these problems so far?

Groceryheist (talk) 18:43, 15 January 2019 (UTC)

Peer review
Hi Astoria,

I think you did a really great job on the first draft. Your information makes the original pages become more complete and current. On thing I notice is there are certain sentences that is not quite related to the title. For example, I don't understand how strong the "golden hand" and this series related. But that's my assumption, and I am not familiar with this show. After reading your page, I feel like I should totally work on mine as well. I could give some description on each year of the LOL All-star competition.

Kitty Wu — Preceding unsigned comment added by Wusauying (talk • contribs) 23:34, 1 February 2019 (UTC)

Peer review
Hi Astoria,

I find your choice of the topic really interesting since I also like to watch the show and find the article of it on Wiki is incomplete in some ways. I like how you find all the video sources for the content. In this way, the readers will get a clearer sense about what the show is about. I like the detailed description about the contents for each season, however, I am a little worried that this kind of description might not be the perfect way to be added in an article with a formal tone. As Kitty said, some of the words you use may lead to confusion of the readers who are unfamiliar with this show. Shuyi(Alice),Xu

Alice0129 (talk) 02:58, 2 February 2019 (UTC)

Feedback on your article
Hi, I'm really glad to see the progress on your article. As things stand now, I agree with the others that clarity is probably the most important thing to focus on right now. As someone totally unfamiliar with the show, I have a hard time grasping what it is all about. Improving the style of the writing, encyclopedic tone, grammar and some of the word choices will help. I also think it could help to add more information that might help people who have never watched the show understand its cultural significance. This could be some information about the critical reception or audience reactions might be interesting to give a sense of what makes the show popular.

Finally, I think it would be great to add some more Wikilinks to your article. Wikilinks can be a good way to help other editors discover your article. After you publish your article, you might also consider linking to your article from other relevant articles.

Great work so far! Groceryheist (talk) 23:52, 5 February 2019 (UTC)