User talk:Atraeber/sandbox

Atraeber all great choices for article improvements, but make sure to complete the assignment (how can these be improved/what aspects would you like to work on/etc.). Don't forget to complete last week's article evaluation exercise too! Gardneca (talk) 08:39, 12 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Atraeber as a follow-up to my above comment, make sure to also complete the "Add a Citation" exercise. Great choice with the Dine Bahane article, I look forward to seeing what you come up with! Gardneca (talk) 01:08, 29 March 2019 (UTC)

Atraeber the meat of the draft is good but I noticed a handful of things that may be issue. The biggest thing is the citations, none of them are cited for the reference page and just directly in the text. Second, the middle paragraph as a few grammatical errors. “Anyhow, this is a bad land. There is not enough food for all of us. “People are dying here every day from hunger. Even if we allowed you to stay, you could not live here very long." This has got three quotation marks so I can't tell where one starts and the other ends but it looks like the one in the middle just isn't supposed to be there. Also, the last sentence in the whole piece doesn't have the first letter capitalized. Lastly, the wording of the draft seems a bit off. There's just a few too many "also"s and the language itself seems a bit too story-telly and not cold and straight. That might be a problem it might not but that's what I noticed. (LukeCBoyd (talk) 22:36, 14 April 2019 (UTC))


 * LukeCBoyd thanks for your feedback and for your helpful suggestions for improvement. Atraeber you'll definitely want to clean up your citations, and I think a really terrific contribution to the main Dine Bahane page would be if you could find some more recent bibliographic references, since so much of the page relies on Zolbrod. Our text is the most recent reference, with the next closest being much older! It would be a real improvement to the page if you could find research on the Dine Bahane in, say, the last 10 years. So, you can work on that going forward, as well as your integration of the sections you developed with the overall article. You may want to copy and paste the sections you're working on from the main article into your sandbox and improve your flow and formatting so that your sandbox contains what looks like a Wikipedia article. This is a tough page to improve since it's already B-class so you've made good progress so far, keep up the good work and let's see a really strong improvement! Gardneca (talk) 08:02, 17 April 2019 (UTC)