User talk:AustinEmho/sandbox

Peer Review

I've looked over your draft and have a few suggestions for you.

1. I think the first sentence of the Frantz Fanon section can be simplified. Maybe change the last part of the sentence to this: "...and decolonizing struggles have influenced discussions about how oppressed people are affected by colonial prejudice."

2. In the sentence, “Fanon argued that colonial psyche...existing material differences between them", I think you could simplify the term "colonial psyche". Perhaps add a sentence following that describes the term.

3.You have quite a few direct quotations from Fanon, so maybe try to paraphrase some of the shorter ones in your own words. The passage from Fanon at the end of the section is useful, but I think the ones in the paragraph above aren’t as necessary.

There wasn’t too much to critique though. I thought the lead of the page was concise and informative. You also did a good job with linking to other Wikipedia pages on the subject!

Let me know if you have any questions! Sarahdavies3 (talk) 17:42, 25 November 2017 (UTC)

Peer Review Response

Thanks for the feedback Sarah.

Rereading the first sentence in my Fanon section, and I agree that it came off as overcomplicated. I've taken your suggestion and reworded it to be more straightforward:

"Frantz Fanon's Marxist writings on imperialism, racism, and decolonizing struggles have influenced post-colonial discussions about the internalization of colonial prejudice."

On the term colonial psyche, I find it to be a good shorthand for discussing the mental/identity aspect of a colonized people. But you're right, I should definitely work in an introduction of the term and define it better. I'm planning on adding this in to the Fanon section.

I agree that I was using too many quotes and changed all the main ones I had in the section into my own words. I'm gonna try and minimize quote use more as I work on my article. I kept in the larger quote at the end in the Fanon section for now (but I think I'll probably try and cut it down) because I think it's a good way of directly showing how Fanon's work directly links with the concept of colonial mentality. I'll be more careful about implementing too many quotes though.

Thanks again for the feedback; it was very useful.

AustinEmho (talk) 16:10, 28 November 2017 (UTC)