User talk:BHornsby/sandbox

Peer Review by Sklupp1
Your article is well written and you have good sources to support your findings. The organization of your page could be improved on. If you are creating this page, which it looks like you are, I would suggest focusing your introduction paragraph on defining the Sea star invasion. Make it clear as to what this page is about so if someone who wasn't knowledgable about the topic stumbled on it they would be able to understand its purpose. As it is written now, the focus of the page is unclear so I think it would be beneficial to add information on the Sea star and its specific invasion in North America. Your other two sections are placed on the page well and the content of each is well organized. I would consider creating a more concise heading for the second section titled "Japanese Tsunami Marine Debris & New Invasive Species."

Your writing is well developed and you have appropriate sources to support your contribution. Spelling and grammar look good, I would be conscious of lengthy sentences though. Your writing appears neutral and unbiased throughout your contribution but I would be careful to remain that way throughout the "Impacts on Society" section as it could end up advocating for action on this issue. Your references and links look good, although you could consider adding a link to the invasive species page.

In regards to your high school audience, I would be careful of your word choice. Throughout the introduction paragraph and the beginning of the first section, the language is advanced and could make it difficult for your target audience to take away the main points from your contribution. Once again, make sure someone of that age with little background knowledge of your topic would be able to take something away from your contribution.

Overall, your contribution is very interesting! Great work! Sklupp1 (talk) 23:41, 28 October 2013 (UTC)

Feedback
Overall, the information is solid, but you need to review the writing. Specifically, focus on organization of information and phrasing. Remember the audience of Wikipedia. Also, the writing should be factual and neutral. Sentences 3 and 5 in the introduction do not read as factual- consider revision. For the third section, reconsider drawing conclusions about may occur in the United States since invasion has not established. Instead you could indicate that species of concern have been discovered and connected to the tsunami. Continue to locate peer-reviewed scientific articles to support your statements and improve the overall quality of the article. B.J.Carmichael (talk) 17:49, 5 November 2013 (UTC)