User talk:BINK Robin/Draft:Jeffrey Katzenberg

Notes on changes from live article
Hi editors, in case anyone is curious, I thought I'd post a bit of the rationale behind the changes proposed in this version of the Jeffrey Katzenberg article.

Intro
 * Cut out some WP:PROMO language (E.g. "producer of the Oscar winning film American Beauty")
 * Trimmed to best identify what Katzenberg is known for
 * Removed most of the citations per WP:LEADCITE

Infobox
 * Changed alma mater to Fieldston School as Katzenberg did not graduate from NYU
 * Added additional titles he has held or currently holds
 * Added additional films to Notable works field
 * Added notable awards won
 * Removed organization as it's redundant

DreamWorks Animation
 * Removed mention of airfare allowance per WP:NOTEVERYTHING
 * Removed 3D glasses promotion per WP:NOTEVERYTHING and lack of good sourcing on the topic

Political activities
 * Reverses order of third and fourth paragraphs to better preserve the timeline
 * Updates source related to Stoneman Douglas donation
 * Adds sentence related to support of Karen Bass in LA mayor race
 * Removes the SOPA/PIPA subsection
 * The current section closely copies the source material
 * The current section describes Katzenberg's role with SOPA/PIPA in a manner not supported by the source used
 * The section is, essentially, that he got a phone call about the bill being opposed by the White House, which seems like a case of WP:NOTEVERYTHING to me

Special awards
 * Renames the section Recognition which I believe to be more neutral
 * Moves a sentence about an honorary degree received from the Personal life section
 * Corrects the timeline of Katzenberg's Jean Hersholt award
 * Adds a sentence about the National Medal of Arts (the awarding of which is pictured in the current article but not explained)
 * Modifies current content and adds a sentence related to the Palme d'Or Katzenberg received to provide better context for readers

Personal life
 * Cleans up WP:EDITORIAL language (e.g. "highly active" → "active")
 * Adds sentence related to donations to USC and Boston University
 * Makes copy edits to sentences related to board memberships, including adding Wikilinks where appropriate
 * Changes the sentence related to DreamWorks Animation Academy to better reflect sourcing and provide additional context
 * Updates net worth figure
 * Removes political donations cited to an unreliable source per WP:BLP
 * Removes repeat references to Hersholt Award and honorary degree

Filmography
 * Makes multiple updates, adding additional films Katzenberg was involved in or greenlighted, as well as removes films Katzenberg was not involved with

That about covers it! Happy to answer any questions. BINK Robin (talk) 17:33, 16 April 2024 (UTC)