User talk:Ballard8/Södertälje

=Evaluations=

12/4/2018 Evaluation by AniikaH
Spelling/Grammar Meets Expectations.

Language Meets standards.

Organization Meets standards.

Coding Meets Standards

Validity Meets standards.

Completion Meets standards.

Relevance Meets standards.

Sources Meets standards.

Citations Meets Expectations

References Does not meet standard. Make sure to check that there are no source error codes.

12/3/2018 Evaluation by Hannahshipman
I was purposely trying to grade hard; don't take affront, since you've written a pretty high-standard Wikipedia article.

Spelling/Grammar
Meets Expectations A couple fixes I noticed: minor errors, primarily with dashes as in "wide-spread crime network," "state-of-the-art stadium," or re-stating a phrase, as in "In contrast, immigrants... have positive views," "refugees, ... from Middle Eastern countries, who quickly..."

I'm confused about what you're saying in the last paragraph: "soccer teams represent an advancement in both integration ... as well as an architectural contribution." An advancement in an architectural contribution? You seem to jump from integration (by sports) to architecture to league results, which isn't exactly tied together by the last sentence. I would suggest taking out a sentence and consolidating the information to produce a connected train of thought.

Language
Meets Expectations Overall encyclopedic; be careful of making your sentences too choppy, although you have good information in there.

Organization
Meets standards. Good organization. Since your headers aren't organized exactly the same as the main page (one way to fix this is click on "Edit Source" and add two equal signs (==) on either side of your header), I assume your new section would go between, maybe, Economy and Sports?

Not sure which topic this goes under, but in your first paragraph in the section, you have this sentence: "In recent years, populations displaced by the Syrian War have favored Södertälje as their new home due to the already imbedded Syrian community." First, the end of the sentences has a link to war and disease, not imbedded Syrian communities, so do move the citation; if you can't back up the immigrant population with one of the sources you already found, either find a new one (you'd have an extra source!) or risk going without. Second and less important, "due to" in my opinion is generally an overused cliché, although it's so common that most people won't notice it. To make it more academic, you could say something like, "In recent years, the well-established Syrian community in Södertälje has welcomed [hundreds/thousands/millions] of those displaced by the Syrian War.

Coding
Nearly meets standards I mentioned how to change the headlines into proper headers in the section above. Fixing that would probably bump this up to the regular standard.

Validity
Meets standards. Seems fairly comprehensive, with few outdated sources.

Completion
Exceeds standards. Seven large paragraphs, plus extra sentences and fixes!! That hard work shows.

Relevance
Meets standards. I liked how you added the sports team, rounding the overview off.

Spelling/Grammar
Meets Expectations The paragraph at the beginning of your article is slightly confusing (where you created bolded sections such as introduction section, history section, etc.) Looks like possibly a coding problem though. As for the rest of your spelling/grammar throughout your article, I think it meets expectations. The only thing that really stood out to me was this sentence: "Postwar Swedish designers made an effort to combat class differences by standardizing home design and urban planning; this coincided with the arrival of numerous refugees, from various Mediterranean and Middle Eastern countries and quickly concentrated in Södertälje." Instead of having the semicolon there, I feel like you could have put a period and made this two sentences instead of one long sentence. Just a suggestion! Other than that, I feel like the rest of your spelling and grammar meets expectations.

Language
Meets Expectations I feel like the language in your edit meets expectations. Just watch for run-on sentences, but other than that I think it sounds good.

Organization
Nearly Meets Expectations I think that your information is organized, but could use headers to separate your paragraphs.

Coding
Nearly Meets Expectations As I addressed right out the gate, I was a little bit confused by the sections that you created at the beginning of your edit. It looks like it may have been a coding problem with your headers. It would look a little more organized and be a little more clear if you turned these into headers instead :)

Validity
Meets expectations Everything seems to check out at valid to me.

Completion
Exceeds Standards You have a lot of writing here. Good job!

Relevance
Meets Expectations All of the information seems relevant and connects well.