User talk:Bantol13795/sandbox

Working on editing the White Band Disease page. Please note that everything after the third revision in the View History tab was done by the owner of the sandbox. To properly see changes, please compare the third and current versions. Please put reviews in the review section below. Bantol13795 (talk) 00:52, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

Reviews
Review from Isabella Hicks: This is a really well-developed article. Lots of information is included and it is sectioned well for flow. The picture complements the information. In the Impact and Range section, is the word deposing supposed to actually be decomposing? Lots of red broken links in the See Also section. Maybe expound a little on how this affects ecosystems, etc. and why people should care. Isabellahicks (talk) 04:02, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

Review from Lindsay Gustafson:

-There are a few terms like “bleaching”, “filamentous algae”, and “corallivorous snail Coralliophila abbreviate” that should have internal links so people can fully understand the terms on other pages.

-In the “Pathogen” section, your references are in parentheses instead of the little number link. I would just change that to the link.

-I would add more pictures of the disease, maybe pictures of the types of corals it affects or the type of environments the disease occurs in. Maybe highlight the most important facts as a caption under the picture.

I think you’ve written a really excellent article and with these few small edits you can make it even better.

Lindsaygustafson (talk) 16:30, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

Review from Dr. Becky
Your peers have provided you with sound advice for improving your article and I suggest applying it throughout. The writing is good and you have significantly developed this article. Better organization, sentence transitions, word choices, and references to support ideas are needed to improve the draft. Carefully review the text for grammar mistakes and random capitalizations. The image is a nice addition, but I would also include the video from the original stub. Watch for bias statements, such as the third sentence in Anthropogenic effects. Remember this is fact-based writing so critically review the entire article for similar statements. In the Appearance section, you can be more descriptive about the peeling process, such as direction. Can the two types of disease be distinguished? Be sure to strengthen the connection between the disease and the overall effects to the ecosystem. This is also where additional peer-reviewed science articles can be included. Your peers have provided good feedback to consider as well. This is shaping up to be an excellent contribution- Keep it up! B.J.Carmichael (talk) 16:24, 19 March 2014 (UTC)

Revision Reflection
I improved organization, spelling and grammatical errors. I also added another scientific article. Bantol13795 (talk) 22:50, 6 April 2014 (UTC)