User talk:Bbro36/sandbox

Diet and Nutrition during the Prewar Soviet Union

The history of the Soviet Union diet prior to World War II encompasses different periods that have varying influences on food production and availability. Periods of low crop yields, and restrictive distribution of food in the early 1920's, and again in the early 1930's brought about great famine and suffrage in the Soviet Union[1]. The traditional types of food found in the Soviet Union were made up of various grains for breads and pastries, dairy products such as cheese and yogurt, and various meats such as pork, fish, beef and chicken[2]. Vegetables were less abundant than the other forms of food due to the strain on resources and poor crop yields. Malnutrition was a prominent factor in poor health conditions and individual growth during this period in the Soviet Union[3].

Much like the Western tradition of 3 daily main meals, the Soviet Union meals consisted of breakfast (Zavtrak), lunch (Obed), and dinner (Ouzhin). Soups or broths made of vegetables and meats were common meals.

References Dando, William A. “Harvard Ukrainian Studies.” Harvard Ukrainian Studies, vol. 18, no. 3/4, 1994, pp. 396–397. JSTOR, JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/41036920. Romero, Gwynn (1997). "Dietary Practices of refugees from the former Soviet Union". Nutrition Today. 32 (4): 2–3 – via OVID. Brainerd, Elizabeth. “Reassessing the Standard of Living in the Soviet Union: An Analysis Using Archival and Anthropometric Data.” The Journal of Economic History, vol. 70, no. 1, 2010, pp. 83–117. JSTOR, JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/25654070. (Wayway2025 (talk) 04:28, 7 April 2018 (UTC))

Diet and Nutrition during the prewar Soviet Union Good start. You have some formatting issues that need to be looked at. You need to use a header from the tool menu and you need to use the Wikipedia tool to add your sources to the article rather than adding them to the body of the text. Other than that, you have presented some good information. It could use more detail, but I imagine you're working on it.

Peer Review, "Reproduction and Family Planning"
(originally posted this for the edit on User_talk:Wdixon5/sandbox, reposted it here after Announcment on Blackboard 04/07/2018)

I really appreciated how this new section was written. I felt that there was enough information to warrant it being in a new section, and that the information was presented in a clear manner. Presenting the work in an immensely clear manner is something I’m trying to implement more in my own article, and I think you’ve given me a really good example of how I might be better able to do that with my own material.

One minor change would be to add another citation; although the material is well sourced, bringing in one or two more scholarly citations would bring even further depth. Outside of that, I think the most beneficial thing to add would be a little bit more information after stating that abortion was “illegal and harshly punished”. What sorts of punishment, any estimate of how many people were prosecuted relative to the number of estimated abortions, etc. This would bring depth and would also be an opportunity to bring in further citations.

As to the larger article itself, "Family in the Soviet Union", I think it is written in a factual and neutral way. I also think the lead paragraph is good, as it states the basic formulation of how the idea of family evolved, as well as how it codified into law during the mid 20th century. On the downside, the article seems to rely only on one citation; however, as mentioned above, there are already more citations that will be added, and based on some of the evaluations I read in other sandboxes, this is a concern that other members of the group are also intending to remedy as well; after looking at some of the posts by other members it looks like they are already starting to tackle this issue. Aside from citations, I think the article could benefit from adding in a few more pictures (particularly since new sections are going to be added), as they might help further engage the reader with the material. Eeng1 (talk) 17:38, 5 April 2018 (UTC)

Although the sources were cited no page numbers were listed for where the information was received from. Although you have a double citation for the last paragraph of each subsection, the Wiki training suggested that we cite once per paragraph. On the subsection, The Bolshevik Vision of Family, although the Bolshevik did base their ideas of Marxist ideas the subsection is very Marxist heavy, and I feel the title should reflect that. The ASU library online has a pdf The Marriage Laws of Soviet Russia, it would great for you as previously mentioned by Eeng1 that you could use another source. All in all its balanced and you don’t take a stand on the subject.Joecantu1134 (talk) 16:52, 8 April 2018 (UTC)

Joe, thank you for your feedback. I didn't even remember that it was recommended we only cite once per paragraph, so I am glad you pointed that out! I did try to make things as clear as possible; one thing I get frustrated with is how needlessly wordy and complicated articles and books on history can be. Wdixon5 (talk) 17:25, 9 April 2018 (UTC)

Ben OShea Peer Review
I really enjoyed reading your draft. It is straight forward and easy to understand and it seems to be unbiased. My only suggestion is to have a few more citations or place your citations next to the item you are citing. For example in the first section you have two paragraphs. In the first paragraph the last few words are in quotations yet there is no citation for that. Other than that I think you have a great start. Macbookoshea (talk) 21:35, 8 April 2018 (UTC)

Review
Besides the first section The Bolshevik vision of family the other sections lacked sources. Also, your first sections seems very informative and static; the next two sections have a great flow. Overall, all sections come off well informed, still need sourcing, neutral, and well balanced. As it is still a work in progress, so far your group is doing a good job.Carr63 (talk) 23:02, 8 April 2018 (UTC)

Blake's Peer Review
Diet and Nutrition during the prewar Soviet Union

You're off to a good start. You have some formatting issues and a couple grammatical errors. You need to insert a header for your section and you need to use the Wikipedia tool to add sources rather than adding them to the body of the text. Other than that, you have presented some really good information. It could use some more detail, but I imagine you're still working on it. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Bbro36 (talk • contribs) 00:51, 9 April 2018 (UTC)

Melissa's Peer Review
I enjoyed reading this draft. It was great additional information for the article. The only thing I would suggest is providing citations and placing the citations correctly in the sections of the article. The only section that did the citations correctly was the Reproduction and Family Planning. When I compared the draft to the original I noticed that even the original article is needing better sources and citations. If not done already, it would be wise to have someone dip into the citations already used and make sure they are credible. Other than that the information is spot on and great additions to this article. Missi1705 (talk) 14:41, 12 April 2018 (UTC)

Danielle's Peer Review
This article is off to a great start. There is great information and facts being listed through all sections, however there seems to be a lack of sources in where this information was found. The articles are written well and flow together. One section, The Family Code, had short and to quick of sentences. Possible more elaboration in that section would help out. Ss771955 (talk) 17:19, 17 April 2018 (UTC)