User talk:Beaverresearch

Third Beaver Reich: In the third beaver small wars, although important, the useless joint Toucan Black Beaver Special Operations force started taking over territory and land trying to conquer their foes. The Lemon Nation was fighting wars against J-esus and Godzilla but still tried to halt their threatening advance. TBR easily thwarted the First Beaver Reich and the United Beaverarians of France. They continued holding a strong presence and gaining territory. Godzilla eventually sided with the Lemon Nation of Beaver and started making Predator Missiles in attempt to imitate Modern Warfare's 2 Tactical killstreaks. Alas it was too late, Toucan leaders had already taken over much of Asia and Europe. But thankfully Santa Claus came to the aid of the Lemon Nation and used Rudolphs Nose to nuclear bomb the TBR's Japanese outpost. TBR was eventually pushed back to their homeland, Australia,and over the years re-gained power. TBR is still a powerful force but with the combined efforts of Godzilla, Santa Claus, and LNB they keep them under control.

-Historical Doctrine of Beaver History pg.234

In an effort to help the TBR, the robots from planet Zobzob captured godzilla with their intergalactic starship. After securely capturing godzilla, they brought godzilla to middle earth to prevent sauron from getting the ring. The LNB were devistated to the disappearance of godzilla and the TBR's military was getting out of control. Nearly being destroyed by the TBR, the LNB began to search for godzilla on kashyyyk. Their search was halted by the sheer numbers of wookies. their efforts for finding godzilla were dwindling. Meanwhile, godzilla was destroying Middle earth, because he thought Lord of the rings was a terrible movie. The robots were building an invading army to destroy the LNB, but first they needed recon on earth. Not knowing the territory the recon team stumbled upon area 51 and were soon discovered. nearly escaping an official through a tracker onto the recon team's spaceship, which was tracked by area 51 and found the starship. Terrified by the robots might they sent a distress signal to the LNB. Unable to recieve the message, the LNB continued to search for godzilla on reach. in sword base they recieved the knowlege of the mighty spartan warrior. they thought they could use these spartans for keeping the TBR under control, but not even the might of 18 spartans could take down these robots.

-jedi archives data bank 437 (aka Historical Doctrine of Beaver History pg.238) The LNB were desperate. Time was dwindling and godzilla was no where to be found. All of the Spartans except master chief were slaughtered. Facing a strong enemy of Zobzob Robots they were about to surrender until a hero emerged among them... John Marston. He galloped in with Santa on Rudolph and desecrated one Zobzob robot after another. Finding a map to middle earth they decided to make their way there. When they reached their destination they just found footprints of a mighty dinosaur, and Kenny from South Park dead......again. Meanwhile a female Beaver from LNB was being held on Kashyyyk. The wookies were fond of her gentle coat and eventually she convinced them to join the beavers; but disaster struck. The Covenant decided to invade Kashyyyk, a large bloody 45 minute war was waged, in the end it was a million dead Covenant and 326 billion wookie alive. LNB received the distress call from Kashyyyk and adopted their new larger brethren to the LNB family. Godzilla stole a Phantom from the used Covenant Flight Vehicle store and secretly landed on Zobzob. Godzilla began tearing the Genetic Mutations lab on the far side of Zobzob apart when the unimaginable happened.....ZERGLING RUSH!!!!! The Zobzob Robots (from here on out called Zobots) were trying to defend their colonies as Godzilla was desperately fighting his way back to his ship. Luckily for the Zobots Bob Marley showed up while touring the galaxy and used his dreads to save the Zobots. Gozilla had made it back to his ship and successfully gotten away and intercepted an LNB transmission, he landed on the Planet and was nearly killed by the wookies, but thankfully the LNB were still there to settle things out. To show there was no hard feelings Godzilla watched Spongebobs Christmas with the wookies while dining over Hot Cocoa and Christmas Cookies.

-LNB Secured Database Log Entry 16,843 Part A (aka Historical Doctrine of Beaver History pg.239)

Due to the ruthlessness of the battle between the zobots and marston everybody forgot about the Third beaver reich. During this time them and their allied nations, the tucans, the bubble butt hookers, and the pequeno pepper had created an army the size of the budget for transformers 2.the army struck fear into the eyes of the lemon leaders (aka. lemonheads.) the ensuing battle became known as the battle of doodle bop ridge on account that it was at a toddlers toy factory. during the battle all of the lemons recourses were burned by the pequeno peppers spicy salsa. the lemons citrus blast could not cool the flames of the exotic dip. During the fight the bubble butt hookers were extinct, happily because who would pay for a bubble butt hooker without any pazazz. the pit boss was right to kill them. as the avalanche came down the doodle bop ridge the mighty lemons were crushed with thousands of pounds of barney dolls and G. I. joes. Luckily da young lemon, leader of lemons, was in a hamster ball at the time of the avalanche and was able to roll to safety. with his empire crushed and his wife divorced and married to mel gibson he had nothing but 32 cents in pennies, tears of sadness, and a story to tell. Hitler and the beavers triumphantly celebrated at a hollywood party with ke$ha, but when lil jon (aka. the crunkster aka. the faggot) showed up with his best friend and also rapper faggot bruce, the party got too gay to go on. So everybody went to kanye west's and talked crap about the talentless taylor swift. with the battle won and the galaxy finally at peace the beavers laid down their arms and peacefully listened to reggae and smoked weed.

-CNN Brian Williams The scoop at 11/10 eastern time Da Young Lemon was desperate, all he had left was himself, Godzilla, 32 cents and.......a long lost friend. J-esus who decided to go back to heaven during the first war of the Lemons decided to give Da Young Lemon, DYL forgiveness. J-esus came down and decided that they must go back to the battle area of Doodle Bop Ridge. When reaching the area J-esus called upon the mighty ancients of Lion King. He sang Hakuna Matata and brought back all the beavers that were killed, including those of the third Reich who decided to join the LNB. The wookies were also brought back. In the hills of Doodle Bop Ridge LNB started genetically making a cooling agent that would quell the flames of the Pequeno Peppers. While in the hills they met the Yeti's long lost cousins of the wookies, they agreed to join LNBs cause. LNB started watching Star Wars and Predator's to hone their fighting tactics, they also started hacking the Third Reich's radio station and playing recordings of Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus. With everything ready the LNB set their attack in motion to the Third Reich's Capital. Disneyland. LNB released thousands of automated Barney G.I. Joe action Battle ready Missile Launching Cyborgs of Cudliness, they were not cuddly though. With Mickey Mouse and Goofy dead in a roller coaster ride LNB moved out of the city to unleash their most powerful weapon. A full-blast run through of every Jersey Shore known to man. The beavers could not take it anymore they started committing suicide and other acts of self torture. While the capital was distracted LNB took over almost every area owned by the Third Reich. When they returned every beaver had either killed themselves or ran away. LNB also used their cooling agent to quell the pequeno's and keep them at bay. At this point the LNB had a thriving nation of Beaver's, Wookie's, Godzilla, J-esus and his holy beaver followers, who destroyed most of the Toucans, Barney, G.I. Joe, and the USDA for quelling the pequeno's. DYL started with 32 cents Godzilla and an army of dead beavers. Now he was the most powerful Beaver in history, had 320 billion dollars and riches in gold, and started his own successful Barney G.I. Joe battle Scenario Action Figure Playground company. And in case anyone happens to be wondering we left the bubble butt hookers dead, its true; no one likes a bubble but hooker unless they have pazazz, and they didnt.

-Diary of a Bubble Butt Hooker's Son (a.k.a Historical Beaver Doctrine page 248) Tommy land,the land of cheese, a peaceful nation ready to strike at the hand of revenge. the Tommy's knew their enemy's were weak and wanted revenge for being neglected by both the beaver nations from the disinclution of their newly desined cheese. Tommy Hilfiger and Thomas the train would help to take out their sworn beaver enemy's. They had already installed cheese laser satilites rotating mars and started the bombardment. Their technique is now called space laser wars. closey related to the shock and awe, but due to the immense strength of a satilite laser(especialy cheese lazer's) it is called space laser wars. These cheese lazer's was capable of making a crater the size of berlin. Not only that but before the bombardment Tommy Hilfiger had designed military clothing for beavers that slowed movement. also Thomas the train taught little kids the Tommy's are the movement for success. after their bombardment on berlin and lemon country, they moved into the capital's. They found Hitler had commited suicide in his underground bunker and the EZ pequeno pepper(aka leader of the pequeno peppers.) 94 cent was nowere to be found. Not only that but da young lemon was also missing. godzilla, J-esus, Santa Claus, Rudolf, John marston, and EZ pequeno pepper were all incarcerated and interogated. All saying the same thing. He was right next me before you came, and then I looked over, and he was gone. Suprizingly all had been tested, and told the truth. Seeking answers, Great Tommy sought out the leader of the planet Zobzob, a close allie. upon approching the planet Zobzob, he couldn't get radio communication to the planet Zobzob. when he had made it to the planet, it was deserted. The only sign was a note on a refrigerater in the main base. The note said "Tommy if u r reading this u must of came wondering were i was well i have disapeared due to reasons i cannot discuss in this unformal note. if u wish to speak with me go to the hawaii skip a rock south from the shore in an airplane heading north-east at about 400 miles per nano second. The Tommy land, very confused, went home to tommy land to relook their information on the whereabouts of 94 cent and da young lemon. If only they worked harder they would find out that their lie detectors were out of battery's and 94 cent and da young lemon were both on seperate beach cottages in the tropics.

-Tommy data base journal entry 51/a Da Young Lemon was startled to hear the news. Everything was destroyed......everyone captured but him. He hates 94 cent he does not count. He was safe at his cottage but decided to do something no beaver had done. Turn into a . Meanwhile Zobjohn and Tommy the Cheesemeister were trying to still get answers out of their captured suspects. Things were starting to go smoothly, they began hearing different stories. Zobjohn decided to hire the Jackals from the Covenant and the T-2000 Terminator to create the most deadly group of fighters in the galaxy, Tommy the Cheesemeister gave them the best in cheese tracking technology. The leader of the Third Beaver Reich decided to start a Facebook and start a clothes line called TBR Starz that would sell well over the years. The deadly group, known as the Terminating Jackals had a great journey across the galaxy. They met many people, including a short little cartoon baby with a football head who was pretty violent but could not find Da Young Lemon. One day Zobjohn realized he did not have any reports from the ship and decided to check on it himself. It was gone......everything....the ship the crew. Zobjohn was searching around the galaxy when he recieved 40 Urgent Distress calls almost simultaneously. All that was left was an eerie recording that reported DYL. Zobjohn started to become scared. The beavers, all of them were powerful, but never this powerful.Zobjohn went to each site and checked the areas. Every Cheese soldier, Train, and Zobot was just brutally destoryed...except for outpost 33 they just wanted to scare Zobjohn....jerks. Zobjohn gathered up many of the world leaders, Tommy the Cheesemeister, Slim Jakey (leader of The Third Beaver Reich), Gleepmaster Gleep (leader of the Gleeple race), J-esus, and a few others. When Zobjohn recounted the events everyone but J-esus and Slim Jakey seemed skeptical. They both said te same thing "The Golden Beaver........." at that minute a portal the size of 400 Gersh Devices Black Holes appeared and sucked away everything at the Capital and its outlying areas was sucked in. Except the meeting building. Everything went silent. Then the roof blew off and Da Young Lemon floated in. He had that gold DYL chain, crest whitened teeth, and them new Jordan Sneakers that were Ultra Bad. He had a Golden Coat a fur something that had not been seen since <....//;./ CLASSIFIED../;/;/;/:;;.....> HE snapped his fingers and Zobjohn woke up, his head throbbing. He decided to walk it off the nightmare and go get some milk. He thought everything seemed to lifelike to be a nightmare. He turned on the T.V. and all that appeared on the screen was an image of a golden lemon with DYL in it. Now were in todays time Da Young Lemon has been underground along with the other factions letting the humans build up.......but one day.......he will return and finish the job he started 5,000,000 years ago. It will be the Day of the Lemoning.

-LNB classified data base(information before planet Zobzob was deserted) "7 tommy's died today in a tragic accident trying to skip a rock out of an airplane." "How do they always find out everything." Great Tommy said. He had a right to know. His spec ops teams were secretly deployed. The threat of a TBR or an LNB Invasion were close. He couldn't hold earth for that much longer. He needed answers. he deployed a spec ops team to slim jakey. They marched towards slim jakey's villa. They secretly steped in a back door and stumbled upon his briefing chamber. To their suprise their were beavers, toucans, and sharks. Tommy's spec ops team deployed a snake cam under the door. Slim jakey was their talking with his fellow leaders. RJ toucan, Mr. freeze, a drug dealer and mark the shark. slim jakey put on a chain. Funny thing was that was the same chain 94 cent wears. With a bandana hanging out of his pants, they knew they were the same person. He withdrew his spec ops team and brought in his invading army. He surrounded his villa. 94 cent still nowhere to be found, including slim jakey. Inside the villa he found a secret chamber that leaded to an ancient place. It was called the troll market. It was owned by will almighty, but he was no troll. will almighty had told him about a golden army that he could use to help the Tommys. but he needed 4 gold peices. A peice he already had, a golden trinket tommy just gave him, A golden chain, and a golden lemon.

-Troll science tests Golden army

The Tommys had nothing to do. They couldnt find 94 cent and time was running thin. They gave will the golden lemon they found in the old LNB base. Eventually they found 94 cent in his cottage, detained him and took his chain. After obtaining the chain, they gave the chain to will. He said a long sentence and then a giant army came about. It was called the golden army. Will had other plans for helping the Tommys. He wanted the universe for himself. He completly destroyed tommys army with his golden army. the golden warrior could be destroyed and then rebuilt. Tommy and 94 cent Tryed hiding from the golden army, but where ever they went, the golden army wasn't far behind. With Tommy and 94 cent stuck on earth and da young lemon nowhere to be found they continuisly ran from the golden army.

-Troll diary page 5