User talk:BeckAugust/B’s Histories of Gay and Lesbian COMM Studies, Communicating LGBTQ+ friendship, and LGBTQ+ friendships represented in media

Dr. E Review
B: Thanks for getting a start on all your sections. Currently none of these are cited using the “ feature, so they don’t have a source attached to them. The writing style is using “we” when it needs to be third person and written much more following Words to Watch and Wiki style. See more Canvas feedback. (OsaRosa (talk) 08:05, 16 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Hello Dr. E
 * Thank you so much for the helpful feedback with my wiki page. I'll make sure to revise my paragraphs with the proper writing style so that the risk of Wiki editors removing it is lower. (BeckAugust (talk) 18:24, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Hi B, I like how you used the required 6 sources for the bibliography. You also used at least 2 sources for each topic which also meets the requirements of the wiki assignment. The first thing I noticed when looking at your bibliography is that when you cited the article Sisterhood across cultures, you used the Texas state link and did not cite the DOI. All your other articles have the DOI link so just fix that one! I believe that all your articles are relevant to each topic, and all are peer reviewed. TheguywiththePorsche911 (talk) 17:53, 16 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Hey T!
 * Thank you for the response on my wiki draft. I did notice that most of my sources didn't have DOI's and I was not sure of how to edit them properly. However, I do know the proper way now and I'll make sure to go back and properly cite them. (BeckAugust (talk) 18:28, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Feedback
Hi @BeckAugust, Writing for an encyclopedia can be a bit challenging, bc we're used to writing persuasively for most of our academic trajectory. I think this is a good attempt for your first draft, and with some work can get to a point where it's more encyclopedic.

Some feedback:


 * Tone/Writing style: "when we look", "This is where", "we all know friendships are important": As writers, you don't want to speak to the reader, write in 1st person, or convince the reader of any ideas. Friendships might be important to you, but a reader might feel differently. It's not a fact, but rather an opinion. Writing for Wikipedia means we are summarizing information that others, in academic sources or mainstream reliable publications, have written about the Histories of Gay and Lesbian Comm studies, or LGBTQ+ friendships, or their representation in the media. It's kind of like reporting on the scholarship that's out there, and it should read in a formal, neutral tone. We're not trying to convince the reader of any one idea, but presenting the facts of events that have happened, or ideas that have been vetted by the academic community.
 * Citations: That's why inline citations are important. If a reader has a question about whether the information is true or wants to learn more, they are able to find the inline citation at the end of the sentence, and verify the information for themselves. A place to start, is to go over the content and make sure that a reliable source can support or back up each sentence that you have in the sandbox. If any reader wants to check if a sentence has accurate information, they can click on the inline citation and find that information in the cited source. This will help you see what text can remain and what text is fluff or original research, and can then be removed or rewritten to fit the encyclopedic style of Wikipedia.
 * Histories of Gay and Lesbian Comm Studies: What specific events propelled forward Gay and Lesbian Comm studies, or influenced its development? Are there specific researchers, academics or activists that were instrumental in the development of this field of study? That's the kind of information I expect to read when I see the section header, "Histories of Gay and Lesbian Comm Studies", and it might require you to take another look at reliable sources out there that have this information.  I know that's a lot, so let me know if you have any questions about what I wrote.

Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 00:20, 17 April 2024 (UTC)